Four

Four months down, 32 to go? Rumors are floating about referrals for the coming month. I wonder how many days there really will be in this batch? One week's worth? Two?

This day also brings a thought that not many of us want to think about... what happens if...? At some point in time, I injured myself. Perhaps my siatica nerve? Pulled butt muscle? It went away last Sunday thanks to my uncle's couch. However, not knowing what caused it, I immediately reinjured it. For the past few days I've been limping around wondering what the heck to do. I've tried sleeping on the floor, taking massive amounts of drugs... nothing works. In fact, I think it's getting worse. I'm afraid to lay down. When I do, it's takes about 10 minutes to go from the bed to the bathroom, crying most of the way. Every movement of my right leg causes pain to run through my entire body. However, once I'm in the vertical position I get progressively better. Unfortunately, the process starts again the minute I go to bed (note, not actually sleeping since I move while sleeping and every movement wakes me because of the pain).

It started me thinking. What would I do if I had a baby to care for? Never sleep? Try to sleep in one of the camp chairs (the only one I can sit in for more than 10 minutes?). Who would I call in for help? Seriously, who would you call to say "I can't get out bed in the morning, can you help me get to the bathroom and feed the baby? I'll be fine once I've walked around the room three times."

References have been mailed

I received a couple of calls in the last two days to let me know that the reference requests were in the mail. Rather quick considering I just turned in the application at the end of last week and I was told that 10 other families were in line ahead of me. Does this mean I could have a little one for Christmas? Thanksgiving? Halloween? Do I even hope?

I'm working again on my 100 good wishes quilt. Since I'm doing a lot of hand sewing it, it's taking quite some time, but it's fun to do at night while watching TV. I have done some machine sewing as well, and I'm moving towards it more and more... if I want to get it done anytime this year. I also have another simpler one to get started and finished. The 2nd one is just two yards of flannel, back to back... extremely simple and no ironing.

If your thinking about making a quilt, the key to making everything turn out right is ironing. Every single seam or it won't fit right. To say that complicated patterns require a lot of ironing is an understatement and this is why serious quilters have a room with ironing board set up all the time.

Another Wait

I turned in the paperwork to become a foster parent. The intake person was very pleased that everything was completed and placed into one packet... almost like I've done this before.

After everything was checked off, I left. She "call me when you are back from vacation, if I haven't called you before" and that was it. My vacation is exactly one month away, so I guess I'm beginning another wait. At least this one will come with informational intervals (calls regarding the references) and it's only a month. Then it's off on another adventure.

I bought it!

I bought a crib. It's set up and sitting in the corner of the room. Waiting.

It's very strange how uncomfortable you can feel in the baby section of a store. I mean, it's not a present, I'm not pregnant... what the heck am I doing here? I imagine is a somewhat similar feeling as those who are waiting for a organ transplant. I am literally hoping for a catastrophic event to happen to a child so that he/she becomes available for adoption and can become my child. It's a bit twisted... I realize that nothing I've done will influence this event, but none the less it has to happen in order for me to obtain my dream. Of course, who wants to think like that??? It's a little disconcerting when shopping with a bunch of women who are obviously pregnant.

Next on the list is the car seat and booster seat. And hooded towels.... in going over the inventory of what I've already purchased, I have no towels or "light weight blankets." It must be because they're never on sale for under $2 or found in a garage sales.

Apparently, I haven't been shopping enough.

Yesterday, I attended a first aid/cpr class - needed for coaching and for foster-parenting. It ended early, so I headed over to Macy's to pick up a weeding gift (it still feels weird to say "Macy's" on this side of the country... it's always been a NYC thing to me). Apparently it's been quite some time since I shopped on a Saturday at the Mall, because I could not find a parking spot! It was like Christmas in July! And the place was packed - not fun. I had planned on hitting Ikea, since I was in the big city... but after that stop, I decided that it just wasn't worth it. If Macy's was a mad house, Ikea would be the third level of hell.

Why Ikea? I had orignally planned on purchaing a crib there. The Hensvik to be exact. I've looked at cribs at every other store and not been able to purchase any of them. I've looked online. Garage sales. Craig's List. You name it, I've been there. And haven't purchased anything. The anxiety this idea of purchasing a crib is quite interesting. I can't seem to commit to getting the box and heading to the checkout counter. It makes it all a little too real - and all my worries about finances and time come into play. More of will I have enough time questioning. I'm teaching (AP is a huge time suck)... but I can do the grading at home. I'm coaching... but I have lined up extra babysitters, an assistant coach and baby can come to practices. But I don't always do so well with extra stress and I'm not sure I can handle it. It's just this huge unknown that I can't fully prepare for... and that freaks me out the most.