Brrr!

I have to admit that I'm having a hard time reading many of my regular blog favorites, as they display their spring bounty of color and sun. The green-eyed monster is making quite the display. We are freezing! Still scraping the windows in the morning and wearing multiple layers of clothing. There are only a few daffodils popping up – besides the grocery store – and only the earliest of Rhodies have shown anything but green leaves.

 

I know the wait for Spring is the trade off for living in an area where snow is a given at Christmas time, but I'll be honest. Fake snow is starting to look better every year.

TGIF!

It's Friday and SUNNY!!! Ok, I may be a little excited... we haven't seen sun in a long time around these parts and even less of weather warm enough for the kids go outside. It feels a bit like winning the lottery. With less shopping.

 

Also, I found a recipe online for pizza rolls on a stick. We're not going to have a stick (living in a gastronomical wasteland, it would probably take me hours to find a place that actually sold the damn sticks)... but semi-home made pizza rolls sound good doesn't it? I may even toss on a couple of pieces of asparagus for fun. Or not.

 

yay!

 

 

Spring!

I feel like I'm coming out of hibernation.

 

For the last six months I've been working on a project for work. And when I haven't been working on it, I've been perfecting the fine art of procrastination by hiding behind a book... and not accomplishing anything else, because I really should be working on the project. Honestly, I felt like I couldn't work on anything but this project or that I shouldn't do anything but this project. And the project was just frustrating me. It wasn't coming together, I didn't know how to accomplish the goals of the project. I couldn't get into it and it just wasn't doing what I thought it would help me with.

 

Then I just let go of it.

 

There was a lot of vascilating and gnashing of teeth in making that decision. I don't mean to put it in a simplistic light. I feel guilty about wasted time and money and of not accomplishing a goal I'd set for myself. Add in the embarrassement of having to admit to collegues that I'm not going to finish this project. It's not the place I planned to be on March 22nd. To be completely honest, there is a small part of me that hopes I will still be hit by the inspiration fairy and magically finish in the next week... even though it's probably (see? I still can't write in absolute terms) impossible and I needed to let it go for my sanity. 

 

Some times it's easy to let something go. You just turn and walk away. No guilt. No worry. Other times, we're so emotionally invested we become trapped. Or at least, I do. Or was. I probably should have quit a long time ago, but I just didn't want to admit to myself that I wasn't going to accomplish goal, that I was hiding, that I couldn't do everything that I wanted to and that perhaps, I really am just too lazy to get it done. Or just not good enough. Or any of the other negative self-bashing thoughts I could think of.

 

I just let it go. All of it. The stress. The guilt. The emotions.

 

Maybe I am too lazy. Maybe I'm just not good enough. Maybe I can't do everything I want to and there are things that I just can't do at this point of my life. Maybe there are things that are just more important. And I'm ok with it.