Apparently, I haven't been shopping enough.

Yesterday, I attended a first aid/cpr class - needed for coaching and for foster-parenting. It ended early, so I headed over to Macy's to pick up a weeding gift (it still feels weird to say "Macy's" on this side of the country... it's always been a NYC thing to me). Apparently it's been quite some time since I shopped on a Saturday at the Mall, because I could not find a parking spot! It was like Christmas in July! And the place was packed - not fun. I had planned on hitting Ikea, since I was in the big city... but after that stop, I decided that it just wasn't worth it. If Macy's was a mad house, Ikea would be the third level of hell.

Why Ikea? I had orignally planned on purchaing a crib there. The Hensvik to be exact. I've looked at cribs at every other store and not been able to purchase any of them. I've looked online. Garage sales. Craig's List. You name it, I've been there. And haven't purchased anything. The anxiety this idea of purchasing a crib is quite interesting. I can't seem to commit to getting the box and heading to the checkout counter. It makes it all a little too real - and all my worries about finances and time come into play. More of will I have enough time questioning. I'm teaching (AP is a huge time suck)... but I can do the grading at home. I'm coaching... but I have lined up extra babysitters, an assistant coach and baby can come to practices. But I don't always do so well with extra stress and I'm not sure I can handle it. It's just this huge unknown that I can't fully prepare for... and that freaks me out the most.