10 Months

I'm not really sure if I should still be counting months from LID anymore. It feels like a futile effort and to be honest, with Lala here, it feels a bit like a betrayal. I do have to say that having a child in the home makes a huge difference in the wait - I know it's hard for everyone, but it was way harder just sitting and staring at the walls.

Lala is at the babysitters for the next few days. I fly out tonight for a conference that was scheduled (and paid for) months ago. I dropped her off last night - too much action in the morning - and I felt completely guilty. She's becoming more attached to me and here I am dropping her off at a stranger's house. I know she'll be with the other children playing with her all the time, but I'm still wracked with guilt. Did she sleep through the night? Did she get her morning bottle? Is she still all snotty? Mother's guilt... who knew it only took a couple of days to settle in?