Conversation

Lala has recently discovered story-telling. To say they’re fanciful, is an understatement. Last night, she told me a story about her, as a grown-up, taking care of me, when I was a baby. Apparently, we went to flew chickens and ran into a dinosaur, who tried to eat me. Luckily, Lala had a bottle of ketchup, which she used to squirt the dinosaur in the face. It changed him into a square pumpkin.

Even the cuddler has a hard time following, but they very imaginative.

Enjoying Freedom

The first thing we did after Lala was declared free of swallowing issues…

 

and it never tasted so good!

90 Second Update

It’s been awhile… but with Go*gle and Fac*b*ok changing their formats I’ve been all sorts of discombobulated.

• Lala started pre-school, which she loves. This brings a whole new level of organization I need to achieve every day. Uniforms, paperwork, supplies, fundraising. Providing snacks brings a whole new level to preparation on my part as the school hours are almost exactly my working hours.
• The cuddler is not potty trained. Nor does he seem to be in any hurry to latch on this idea. As such, I’m basically giving up until, I dunno…, he’s 5? Obviously, he’s not going to be forced, cajoled, bribed or loved into doing it, so screw it. It’s not like he’s in high school or something equally shaming.
• I finally got my tax refund!!! And then I paid bills and put the rest into savings. I know! I am that exciting! Actually, I just don’t have time to shop for anything I really want and I don’t really need anything.
• I’m doing National Boards for teaching, as well as everything else at work. This is the the biggest reason I haven’t been online much. I just don’t have time for and keep up with the laundry.
• Sooooo not keeping up with the laundry.
• Not only did I mow the lawn yesterday, while the kids were awake and in the yard, but I actually fertilized in preparation for winter. Before the rain started people! Before!!!!! (In the next few weeks it will start raining here. It won’t stop until sometime around the end of April.) This means that I might actually have a chance that I won’t have a two foot high lawn when it finally dries out enough to mow again. Yay me!
• Lala’s dysphagia has officially been deemed mostly cured. We had, what I hope will be, our last swallow evaluation last week. While there was a slight issue, for the most part, they said to drink normally and watch for infections.
• This week the cuddler has a developmental evaluation with our local school district. His speech isn’t as clear as it should be… maybe. I’m probably not a good judge, and he usually speaks so low to strangers that it’s hard for him to be evaluated by his regular doctor. I’m hoping they’ll be able to get more out of him in a 40 minute evaluation and he’ll be deemed not eligible because he’s not really showing a problem and it’s just shyness or something. On the other hand, if he is eligible for services, he’ll be thrilled because it means he’ll go to “big boy school.” To say that he is jealous of his sister going to “big girl school” is like saying the Pacific is a bit wet.
• Lala got to visit with her oldest bio sister in August. It made them both pretty happy.
• After two years of living in the same small region, we finally “ran into” the cuddler’s bio mom at the grocery store. Actually, I’m surprised it didn’t happen earlier. It’s just not that big of an area. His bio mom has always been very appropriate whenever we’ve seen each other and this time was no different. It did make for a very confusing conversation afterwards. Both kids are still too young to really understand who everyone really is and what role they had in their lives… or what role they now have. Lala does not understand why the cuddler’s BM  isn’t her BM, etc. and I’m really at a loss as to how to explain in a way that gives them some understanding. Ideas?

Bringing in Spring – Simple Birdhouse Tutorial

April is nearly here! To celebrate our intermittent sunshine, Lala and I decided to get a little crafty and build ourselves a bird house!

First we got an empty half gallon milk carton. We have about a million of these as the cuddler is lactose intolerant, but for some reason manufacturers only sell in half gallon cartons. (PITA!)  I cut out out the front and approximately half of two sides. A “roof” is a good idea, to help keep the spring rains off of the seeds. It’s not perfect, but this is a simple bird house for those with the attention span of a three year old.

 

Lala inserted a left over shish kabob skewer through the bottom portion, so that the birds will have something to stand on while feasting on our yummy bird seed. Thin for little bird feet – hopefully the crows and seagulls won’t be able to get a good toe hold.

 

 

I poked a hold in the top, and Lala threaded a string through – FWIW, this is an important dexterity skill for kids. She was very proud of herself for doing this last step in our creation.

You can paint, just make sure to scrape off as much of the shiny coating as you can. Otherwise the paint won’t last more than a day. We did not bother to paint as the rain would have washed it off rather quickly and the dog probably would have eaten the paint chips from the ground. Our dog, while cute, is not the smartest. I also screwed the lid back on – no point in having a ‘roof’ if there is a hole in it.

 

Lala carefully filled the bottom with bird seed and I hung it outside of her bedroom window, so she would watch the birds.

I don’t know if we’ll actually get any birds, given that it’s spring and the dog goes crazy whenever a bird nears our yard, but given that the birds usually tease the dog by sitting just our of reach on a wire or fence post, they probably don’t give a hoot (see above).

Lala is just excited that it’s out there and it means there is something else to look at besides mud and rain puddles.

Laryngoscope

As I write this, Lala is under anesthesia (thank the lord for spell check) getting all checked out.

The procedure should only take about 15 minutes – but the prep and recovery will bump that total to five hours. That does not include the hours without food for the both of us. I’d go grab something, but I’m too afraid that I’ll miss something.

She did great right up to point where we were separated – in fact, she got a little bored with the waiting.

Hopefully, the doctor will find that it’s simply a stage one cleft – easily fixed and we’ll be on the road in a couple of hours. That’s what I’m keeping foremost in my mind.

 

And… it’s over! Well, she’s still in recovery waking up, but it’s done. He found nothing.

Dysphagia Continued…

Since Lala was nine months old, she has had every liquid thickened to a honey consistency. She has never had ice cream or soup and only had a popsicle twice. For her third birthday, we had cake with chocolate pudding. It was more successful than ice cream would have been, by the way.

Last month she had her seventh swallow test – she has had one every 6 months for the past two and half years. It was hoped that she would outgrow the dysphagia, but in over two years, she hasn’t shown any improvement. In fact, at one point she actually complete aspirated the barium and didn’t make a peep. No cough, no sputter. Really, that’s not good.

We now had a decision to make. Either continue as we have been or start looking for cause. We saw a new ENT specialist on Saturday to start that ball rolling. He doesn’t have the full picture, but given her history, he believes that she may have a laryngeal cleft. Although leaving well enough is a viable option, she is growing up (as she keeps reminding me). She already begs for juice boxes “like Bobby”. Juice boxes cannot be thickened before drinking, that straw hole is just too darned small! And pouring it out into a cup is just not cool. Can you hear the screaming fit on that one? My ears are still ringing.

I can’t watch her for the rest of her life and kids make bad choices when faced with a restriction – it’s just a fact. Retainers are lost, glasses are broken, make-up gets put on in school, healthy lunches are traded away… you know you did it too. However, that juice box isn’t just an expression of independence. It represents another respiratory infection – possible damage to her lungs, scarring on the ear drum, pneumonia, hearing damage, etc. If we can fix it, we need to do it.

Our next step is Laryngoscopy. Lala will have to go under anesthesia for the procedure – not looking forward to that – but it should only take a few hours. At that point we will find out if what exactly is going on and how best to proceed.

How we used a village to make a diagnosis

Although I’ve told the story of Lala’s “special need” many times to several people, I’ve never actually written it down or posted it here. I put “special need” in quotes, because, of all of things that children can be afflicted with, Dysphagia is not that bad. In Lala’s case, she just needs an thickener in liquids.
Within a week of being placed with me, Lala began a loop of ear and upper respiratory infections. We would see the doctor, get a prescription for an antibiotic. Ten days later, the prescription would be finished. Twelve days later, we would be back in the doctor’s office, getting stronger/different antibiotic. This went on for a couple of months.
Then Lala stopped drinking. She would literally toss her bottle across the room. Remember, as an infant, she is still getting a majority of her nutrition via formula. If she won’t drink it… well, I was more than a little freaked out. Luckily her doctor has a calming personality and we came up with a plan. Ear/respiratory infections stop. She continues to cough and sputter seemingly at random. Is this a problem or just a kid learning to eat solid foods?
While this is going on, the manager of the daycare tells me a story about another child who had recurrent respiratory/ear infections. Eventually, his doctor discovers a kernel of popcorn lodged in his lungs. Apparently he had either been fed or found and ate a kernel of popcorn at his home before being placed in foster care.  I started to wonder if perhaps there was a french fry particle stuck someone where inside Lala – french fries being a food she regularly ate (at 4 months!) before she was placed in foster care.
A couple of months later, Lala’s cough has gotten worse. Yet again, we visit the doctor. I tell the doctor the story from the daycare. We get a chest x-ray. This time she is diagnosed with a “tiny spot of pneumonia”. There are, however, no french fries.
Two weeks later, ear infection again. This time, in addition to the antibiotic, we get a referral to a major children’s hospital in a nearby urban city for a “swallow test” and a pediatric ENT. Maybe she’ll need ear tubes, maybe something else is causing the recurrent infections… the story has Lala’s doctor thinking of a variety of possibilities. A week later, the ENT rules out the ear tubes, cystic fibrosis and a variety of other possibilities.
We waited a month and half for the swallow test – they were very, very busy! Finally we got in and there is a lot of muttering amongst the techs, speech pathologists and doctors. Dysphaia. When Lala drinks any liquid, she is actually aspirating/nearly aspirating the liquid nine out of ten swallows. No wonder the bottles were flying! Besides the constant illness, I imagine that drinking was painful, as well. To counteract this, we thickened all of her drinks so that they are just a hair above pudding thickness.
She hasn’t had an ear infection since!
Long story short, if the daycare manager hadn't told me the story of popcorn boy, and I hadn't told Lala's doctor, who knows how long it would have been before we discovered the cause of her illnesses? She might have even gone through surgery to put tubes in her ears and still been getting sick. We were all needed on this one.

Growing Up

Last Sunday was Lala’s last day in the nursery. This morning she starts in the youngest Sunday school class.

On the one hand, I’ve been waiting for this day for a year and half and on the other hand, it’s kind of bittersweet that she’s graduated from nursery. Next is Kindergarten (in a year in half) and I’m sure college is just around the corner. I know… it might be a bit slower than that, but still it’s the first step. I’m tearing up, already.

She’s been going for half of the class for the past few Sundays (the singing time) to get used to a new routine, new teachers (no mommy), and no snacks. She still has a bit of separation anxiety, but the class will have children she’s been attending with for the past year and half. Hopefully that will help with the change. Am I being too much of a worry-wart?

Funny Emails

My regular email address is pretty plain. It’s my “professional” address, as well as one for relatives because it’s easy to remember. Unfortunately, it also means that I get a lot of wrong person emails. At one point I was getting private emails from a dentist, a credit card company and someone’s boss. How crazy is that?

Last year, I started getting emails from a dance school asking me to pay for my daughter’s registration. Ordinarily, I would have put that down to another wrong email… BUT, it mentioned Lala’s real name and I had been looking into dancing schools. Had I accidentally clicked a wrong button and registered? What was going on?  And why was Lala registered in a class for 6 year olds?

You guessed it. Someone with the exact same name as me has a 6 year old daughter with the same name as Lala. And then it hit me. I had named Lala with a very common first name and a very common surnames. (Honestly, I once found a mass produced birthday card with my father’s name printed on it – the fruit did not fall far from the tree). It is easy to spell and she will never have to correct anyone on the pronunciation or spelling, but she will probably have to write down every account or id number she will ever have because there will be hundreds of others. Sorry kid, but it’s a family name. Family is more important than numbers.

Why was I reminded of this? I got an email today asking me if I wanted to change Lala’s dress order size to the size she currently wears. The thoughts started running through my mind again. Did I order a dress and not remember it? Why did I order it a size larger? What the heck is a "’minky’?

And yes, it was the dancing school again. I just hope the dentist doesn’t start up again… he was such a spammer!

Camping

We survived our camping trip. Ok, it was more fun than that. And, although it seemed like a very long weekend, it wasn’t a very long experience. I think the thing that made it seem long was the fact that Lala and the cuddler cannot go to sleep in the same room or if I am in the room. It’s just way too distracting. Eventually, I had to put them in their car seats and sit on the ground out of sight and wait for them to finally crash at around 10pm. And they were up before 7am every morning.

On the plus side, there was not so much eating rocks, dirt and pine cones this year. The kids were also much more interested in the wildlife this year too. Lala announced “Mommy! A chipmunk” every time she heard one chattering in a tree. Sadly, she was not so good at actually spotting them. They are pretty quick. We also saw lots of cows – the camp ground is surrounded by open range land, so the drive can reveal a cow/calf around any corner – even a calf drinking from it’s mommy (lots of questions). Grasshoppers were also a bit hit. We don’t have them at home (too wet), so this was the first time the kids really got into watching them hop.

Every year we go on this camping trip and it’s becoming a touchstone for us. I remember the year when Lala wasn’t walking and she went into the lake for the first time. Last year, we again spent much of our time inside the eating hall because the cuddler was in his “I’ll eat anything” stage, and couldn’t be watched closely enough to keep him from poisoning himself. Yes, he’s that good. Still is.

This year, they played in the lake, went for long walks, played in the dirt and enjoyed looking for animals. Who knows what will happen next year? Will they be ready for s’mores? (I just realized that the cuddler will be three next year… now, I’m scared. Three is way worse than two.)

In adoption news, well, there is none. Today we have another meeting with the social worker who has a nebulous job description, so maybe I will get more info at that time?

How do you tell if your child is a prodigy?

yeah... I'm that kind of parent. Is it crazy that I've already talked to a piano teacher about taking lessons?

Every Sunday at church, Lala loves to "direct" the music. She watches the music leader with fascination and tries to copy his hand movements. She's also fascinated with the piano. This morning we had to listen to someone playing after church for about ten minutes before we could leave... under duress.

Sadly, there is no suzuki for the piano; at least not around here and I was told that she needs to be able to identify the alphabet before starting. So we'll have another year or two of listening to other playing before she starts. It'll give me time to save up for a piano and find a place to put it. I may need to expand the house.

I'm a Mom

We did it! This morning, we got loaded up and headed out the Y. The cuddler went into the kidlet's rooms and Lala and I went swimming. It's all part of the big plan to start one the activity treadmill. I felt like such a mom! Sadly, the town I live in is pretty much stuck in 1972, so there are few activites for littles and almost none offtered on the weekends or evenings. If you can't make it Tuesday at 10am, you are S.O.L. I have to make it up as we go along and we're almost always solo because those activities are where you meet other moms... which we can't go to.

Lala begins swim lessons next month (the only thing offered on weekends in her age group). She is not good with change (and who can blame her?), so we're spending Saturday mornings swimming during "family swim"  to get used to the "big bathtub". It took about 15 minutes to get to the point of standing in ankle deep water. Luckily, there is a walk in area and a very shallow area for littles. Twenty minutes we were "swooshin" around the little river-like play canal. We tried to play motorboat, but the concept was a little confusing. Maybe next week.

The cuddler had a fantastic time in the kidlet area and Lala was a bit jealous. Next week I may try to squeeze in a work out and let her play for a bit. It may be pushing the time limit for the cuddler though.

PS - Lala used the big potty to pee! The first time outside of the house! We're on a roll!

Ack!

This morning was an interesting one. Yup, I can now write that brushing your teeth with eyeshadow is not, in fact, toxic, just dusty.

I can also pretty much guarantee that this may become the most g**gl*d post on my site, because this fact is not listed anywhere that easily brought up in your results. I know. I tried. Then I became very worried that the reason I couldn't find it was that everyone else just called 9*1 instead of searching the internet.

Now you know.

Busy! Busy!

Meetings today - with rushing around to get things done for meetings tomorrow and Thursday! How did March get so busy? It's supposed to be my take it easy month!

Lala's file will hopefully be moved to the Adoption Worker by next Friday! Finally some movement... it's amazing how much work it takes to get a file moved 25 feet. The plan, now, is to have everything complete by June.

Spring Weather

Thanks to El Nino, we've had the mildest winter weather I've experienced since moving to this area. I've scraped my windows twice since Feb. '09 and it snowed only once. The kids didn't even have a chance to go out an play in it, because it was gone in an hour. Everything is blooming. Yesterday I was pulling up dandelion flowers from the garden... in February! I'm so glad I bought boots this year!

This whole week has been sunny and above 50 degrees. The kids are going nuts running around the year and playing with the slide. Lala has finally figured out how to use the trike. Seriously, you can't tell her  how to do anything - she has to figure it on her own or watch you do it. Since I can't "ride" the trike, she's been working on it for awhile. The cuddler has finally reached the point of where I can trust that he won't pick up everything on the ground and attempt to eat it (thank you!) and can walk well enough to maneuver on uneven ground without serious injury (the dog likes to dig).

While they ran around, I worked to prep the garden. Because the weather is pretty mild (read cold and wet, not fun to be outside in), everything keeps growing during the winter. During periods of nice weather, you can see some people out mowing in January. The weeds had started to take over my poor little fallow garden and spread their roots all over. You cannot believe the size of the roots under these dandelions. Fist-sized, with runners that stretch across the yard. And the damn morning glories... the bane of my existance. But maybe if I start weeding now, I'll be able to keep them under control come summer. Maybe.

Someone needs a visit to the eye doctor!

We all went up to a local children's museum on Monday. When I say a good time was had by all... I mean that two kids were busy every second for over three hours. The only time they were off exploring and building something was when we at lunch. It was a nice break in the activity before anyone got overloaded.

While we were having lunch, another mother was feeding her baby nearby. We started chatting about nothing in particular. Then she made a comment about the cuddler's hair color, which isn't a usual color. Then she remarked as to how both kids look so much alike except for their coloring. Luckily, I wasn't drinking anything, because I'm sure I would have choked. We all look so little alike that I have actually worried about having to prove that the kids really belong with me. I guess I don't have to worry so much, eh?

One Step Closer

Today Lala's mother relinquished her parental rights and our open communication agreement was filed with the court. The actual court appearance took only five minutes... the waiting for the court appearance took over two hours. Seriously, I walked into a packed building and left an empty one. There was a lot of emotion in that hallway. Anger, sadness and happiness, all clashing into each other and fighting over the four chairs to sit on.

Why did I go? Partly to see that it actually happened - there's been a lot of postponements and delays and partly to be a witness to this monumental event in my daughter's life. Ten, fifteen years from now, when we're having one of those serious conversations that young teens always want to have I can describe how it all went down from a first hand account. I think that's important for her and I think it's important in my relationship with her birth mom. It probably won't ever be the most comfortable of relationships, but I know that in her way she does love Lala and wants the best for her.

With in the next few weeks, the case will get an adoption worker and leave the capable hands of the CW we've worked with for the last two years. (Jeez! I just realized that it has been two years since Lala came into my life) That's a little scary - obviously I want to move one, but fear of the unknown always lurks around.  How long until we hit the absolute end? Perhaps I should start a betting pool.

Adoption Update

Lala's CW has been working with her BM to reliquish her parent rights. Today I signed the open communication agreement for Lala and hopefully the reliquishment will happen very soon. From that point... there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Faint, but glowing.

While my parenthood journey is just beginning...  an old classmate posted photos of her grandchild on fac*^ook.

GRANDCHILD!

I'm officially old and just delving into the world of playdough. Isn't it exciting?

Holiday Fun

When you are two, a gingerbread house may be a bit intimidating. Ok, when you are 40, a gingerbread house IS intimidating. All that precarious stacking and royal icing. Pastry bags! They never work like they do on TV!

A stackable tree shape on the other hand is eminently doable. Just plop down the cookie and some icing. No pastry bag required.

If you buy the kit, no cooking required. You do get tons of childhood memories and when you are two or 40, that is what’s really important.

What memories are you making this year?

Adoption Update

Lala is at a standstill. Her court date was postponed and has not been rescheduled. Will it happen before Christmas? Who knows... as the title says, "slow plodding". Some days it feels like this process will never be over. Other days I forget that there is even a process and just go on with life. The biggest lesson I've learned from this whole process is that life goes on; if you try to put it on hold waiting for something that you have no control over to happen, well... it's not a pretty picture. So we're just continuing on as if everything is done and hope that it will go that way at some point.

This weekend I'm heading to Ikea for Christmas gifts and hopefully a Lucia crown. If I can find a star boy hat I'd be really happy, but that's probably stretching it a bit. And I could probably make one pretty easy. I'm really luckyI'm still struggling as to what to purchase the cuddler for his stocking. Most of my ideas are objects that are too small for a kid who still puts everything in his mouth. Or will be eaten, like crayons. I just hope he doesn't graduate to paste eating.