10 Months

I'm not really sure if I should still be counting months from LID anymore. It feels like a futile effort and to be honest, with Lala here, it feels a bit like a betrayal. I do have to say that having a child in the home makes a huge difference in the wait - I know it's hard for everyone, but it was way harder just sitting and staring at the walls.

Lala is at the babysitters for the next few days. I fly out tonight for a conference that was scheduled (and paid for) months ago. I dropped her off last night - too much action in the morning - and I felt completely guilty. She's becoming more attached to me and here I am dropping her off at a stranger's house. I know she'll be with the other children playing with her all the time, but I'm still wracked with guilt. Did she sleep through the night? Did she get her morning bottle? Is she still all snotty? Mother's guilt... who knew it only took a couple of days to settle in?

Two New Teeth

Yes, all that drool has paid off in two lower teeth just starting to show. I wish I could take a picture of them... but the only time to really see them is when she's screaming. Not a good photo opportunity.

We went on a massive formula shopping spree - 5 cans for $70! I figure that the cans will last about 3 weeks. Hopefully. She's already gone through 3 and it hasn't even been two full weeks. Also, she has 2 to 3 bottles at daycare when she's there, so that's another can she's working through. No wonder breast feeding has had a resurgence.

Lala is also eating solids, so we picked up some squash. Unlike the carrots on the left, squash was much more welcome. She ate the entire 2.5 oz package! Still, we'll keep working on the carrots.

I'm trying to get vegis in her taste memories before really getting into fruits, but it's an uphill battle. I'm not always in control of what she's eating (or where, or when). That would be the frustrating part of foster parenting.

I'm finally beginning to adjust to the new sleeping schedule. Or rather, the lack of sleeping schedule. Yesterday, I actually got up at 2 am somewhat alive! And my arms no longer ache from carrying her around... who knows... muscles may be close behind.

First Cold

For the past couple of days, Lala has had a somewhat juicy sounding cough. She's always been a bit wheezy, but the cough had been moving slowly up the juicy/more frequent scale. Last night, after charming every mother attending the local high school basketball game (my dance team had a performance), we came home to a screaming-I'm-so-uncomfortable-can't-breathe cold.

After two showers and sitting next to a steaming tea kettle and about a hundred trips around the kitchen in the stroller, she finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. Might I repeat my love of my umbrella stroller? I'm pretty sure it's the single most sanity saving device I have. Lala loves to ride around in it, it can double as a rocker, sit in the bathroom while the shower is running and for a kid who dislikes the car, dryer and being held in any position except fully verticle (while I'm standing-no sitting allowed), well, I may have it enshrined.

Today we're off to purchase a humidifer. I, seriously, never thought I would purchase one given that I live in one of the few rainforests in the US. It rains constantly, everything is either mossy or moldy... but I'd rather fight mold than an uncomfortable baby.

I've been visiting other's blogs and I'm seriously wondering... how do you find all this time to take photos??? I think I have a total of 3 and one is because I have to get a thank you note out. Seriously, I can't wait until my coaching contract is up. Only one more month!

Oh yeah! Lala rolled over the other day! It was the first time I'd ever seen do that... and, of course, I was on the phone so couldn't rush over to coo over her.

First Poop

No one but a mother could possibly be excited about poop - well, pet owners at times, mom's are freaks about poop. When, how much, what color, what consistancy... on and on. Imagine my excitment for Lala's first poop. It's a sign of health you know.

The doctor's visit reinforced the poop - Lala is perfectly healthy, if a bit chunky. She weighs 17.8 pounds and is 25 inches long. That translates to 50 percentile for height and 95th percentile for weight. I knew my arms were sore for a reason. Now if we can just get on a schedule, we'll be set for the next few months.

We also went shopping for more diapers and a stroller. My God! Who knew a stroller could be such a life saver - I'm thanking God for it. Everyone who has seen her falls in love. They're all into her big beautiful eyes and ready smile. Me, i'm just thrilled to be finally in the "my you have a pretty baby" group. it's still hard to believe she's really here to stay for awhile.

She's Here!

Yesterday, I got the call to come and pick up a baby girl... wow! She's beautiful and smily (mostly) and huge! Nearly 20 pounds of chunk. My arms are tired!

She is not mine permanently, at least not for now. And honestly, who knows for how long. Weirdly, i'm ok with the uncertainty for now. It feels kinds like being a nanny. You like the kid, want her to be happy, comfortable and feel loved, but she's not "my baby". This also means no photos.

We're off to go shopping today (need bigger diapers!) and see the doctor.

Still Here and still waiting...

9.15pm - no news. I'm guessing that nothing is happening today. Tomorrow back to work, like nothing happened. Bummer.

A New Kind of Waiting

a baby may have been placed with me... the whole thing is so fraught with uncertainty...

I got the call at 1pm. Called back at 4pm. Was told to wait for tonight. Freaked out, told everyone at work. Made an emergency run to Rite Aide. Cleaned everything again. Still waiting at 8pm...

I imagine this is somewhat similar to what it feels like when waiting for the next referral and the rumors say you're in.

Licensed

I got a call last night to let me know that I'm officially licensed. Guess what I do now?

A. do the happy dance
B. go for a 5 mile run
C. wait.

If you guessed "C", you win!

In other news...
Just before Christmas, I got a call from friend who had talked to another friend about my adoption plans. Friend 2 has information on adopting via another route that is cheaper and easier. I start laughing - internally, so I don't insult friend 1 - cheaper and easier does not exist. Everything is fraught with uncertainty, problems and, of course, waiting. Still I did contact friend 2. Her information was third hand and very vague. I'm still working my way through the chain of information. Shoot! It's not like I don't have time.

New Year's Resolution

So, one of my new year's resolutions has been to become more fit. Seriously, I think I could easily become Jabba the Hutt with all my moping sitting around.

Today I found this - bits of work out videos on YouTube. Finally, you can try them out before purchasing and get in a few minutes of raising the ol' heart beat. I definitely recommend Sarina Jain's Masala Bhangra workouts. They're so fun, I might just go buy the tape next month. (New budget is another resolution...)

Another Step Closer

The SW emailed me on New Year's Eve to let me know that my homestudy report was completed and had been sent on to the supervisor. That's the final step to getting my license. It's a little hard to describe what I'm feeling about thist... on the one hand, I'm all fluttery and on the other, I'm all "ehh". Once burned, twice shy.

I emailed back about a timeline and well, there really isn't one. You just have to go with the flow and hope for the best. I am hoping that I'll have a couple month wait so that dance competition season will end before. Eeek... I do have to have a chat with my boss and a conference coming up at the end of the month.

The only thing to really pin hopes on was "but it usually doesn’t take too long". No, I have no idea what that means.