Back from the Dead

or at least, those who really wanted to be dead. Last weekend, both myself and Lala came down with a stomach virus. It started with her vomitting all over me at Old Navy (my poor friend who came along... she looked shell-shocked at all the vomit that came out of one baby!). By the next night, I was curled up on the bathroom floor thanking God that Lala was sleeping off her bouts. I don't know how I survived, but I did and so did Lala. We even had a couple of visitors (word to the wise - call before "dropping by").

Ear Ache

Lala has her first ear ache... so far, she seems to be doing all right, although she's not eating very well.

In the meantime, the end of the semester is coming and there's tons of grading to be done. On Friday, the principal asked if I could have 100 reading tests graded by Monday. Apparently, while I was out of town (for work!), he decided he needed them... so everyone else had their students grade them. Lucky me is supposed to do it by myself with all the other stuff piling up. Needless to say, I told him no. Four days since I'd seen the baby, I wasn't spending the weekend grading something that's been sitting around for two months, but he suddenly needs in 48 hours.

10 Months

I'm not really sure if I should still be counting months from LID anymore. It feels like a futile effort and to be honest, with Lala here, it feels a bit like a betrayal. I do have to say that having a child in the home makes a huge difference in the wait - I know it's hard for everyone, but it was way harder just sitting and staring at the walls.

Lala is at the babysitters for the next few days. I fly out tonight for a conference that was scheduled (and paid for) months ago. I dropped her off last night - too much action in the morning - and I felt completely guilty. She's becoming more attached to me and here I am dropping her off at a stranger's house. I know she'll be with the other children playing with her all the time, but I'm still wracked with guilt. Did she sleep through the night? Did she get her morning bottle? Is she still all snotty? Mother's guilt... who knew it only took a couple of days to settle in?

Two New Teeth

Yes, all that drool has paid off in two lower teeth just starting to show. I wish I could take a picture of them... but the only time to really see them is when she's screaming. Not a good photo opportunity.

We went on a massive formula shopping spree - 5 cans for $70! I figure that the cans will last about 3 weeks. Hopefully. She's already gone through 3 and it hasn't even been two full weeks. Also, she has 2 to 3 bottles at daycare when she's there, so that's another can she's working through. No wonder breast feeding has had a resurgence.

Lala is also eating solids, so we picked up some squash. Unlike the carrots on the left, squash was much more welcome. She ate the entire 2.5 oz package! Still, we'll keep working on the carrots.

I'm trying to get vegis in her taste memories before really getting into fruits, but it's an uphill battle. I'm not always in control of what she's eating (or where, or when). That would be the frustrating part of foster parenting.

I'm finally beginning to adjust to the new sleeping schedule. Or rather, the lack of sleeping schedule. Yesterday, I actually got up at 2 am somewhat alive! And my arms no longer ache from carrying her around... who knows... muscles may be close behind.

First Cold

For the past couple of days, Lala has had a somewhat juicy sounding cough. She's always been a bit wheezy, but the cough had been moving slowly up the juicy/more frequent scale. Last night, after charming every mother attending the local high school basketball game (my dance team had a performance), we came home to a screaming-I'm-so-uncomfortable-can't-breathe cold.

After two showers and sitting next to a steaming tea kettle and about a hundred trips around the kitchen in the stroller, she finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. Might I repeat my love of my umbrella stroller? I'm pretty sure it's the single most sanity saving device I have. Lala loves to ride around in it, it can double as a rocker, sit in the bathroom while the shower is running and for a kid who dislikes the car, dryer and being held in any position except fully verticle (while I'm standing-no sitting allowed), well, I may have it enshrined.

Today we're off to purchase a humidifer. I, seriously, never thought I would purchase one given that I live in one of the few rainforests in the US. It rains constantly, everything is either mossy or moldy... but I'd rather fight mold than an uncomfortable baby.

I've been visiting other's blogs and I'm seriously wondering... how do you find all this time to take photos??? I think I have a total of 3 and one is because I have to get a thank you note out. Seriously, I can't wait until my coaching contract is up. Only one more month!

Oh yeah! Lala rolled over the other day! It was the first time I'd ever seen do that... and, of course, I was on the phone so couldn't rush over to coo over her.

First Poop

No one but a mother could possibly be excited about poop - well, pet owners at times, mom's are freaks about poop. When, how much, what color, what consistancy... on and on. Imagine my excitment for Lala's first poop. It's a sign of health you know.

The doctor's visit reinforced the poop - Lala is perfectly healthy, if a bit chunky. She weighs 17.8 pounds and is 25 inches long. That translates to 50 percentile for height and 95th percentile for weight. I knew my arms were sore for a reason. Now if we can just get on a schedule, we'll be set for the next few months.

We also went shopping for more diapers and a stroller. My God! Who knew a stroller could be such a life saver - I'm thanking God for it. Everyone who has seen her falls in love. They're all into her big beautiful eyes and ready smile. Me, i'm just thrilled to be finally in the "my you have a pretty baby" group. it's still hard to believe she's really here to stay for awhile.

She's Here!

Yesterday, I got the call to come and pick up a baby girl... wow! She's beautiful and smily (mostly) and huge! Nearly 20 pounds of chunk. My arms are tired!

She is not mine permanently, at least not for now. And honestly, who knows for how long. Weirdly, i'm ok with the uncertainty for now. It feels kinds like being a nanny. You like the kid, want her to be happy, comfortable and feel loved, but she's not "my baby". This also means no photos.

We're off to go shopping today (need bigger diapers!) and see the doctor.

Still Here and still waiting...

9.15pm - no news. I'm guessing that nothing is happening today. Tomorrow back to work, like nothing happened. Bummer.

A New Kind of Waiting

a baby may have been placed with me... the whole thing is so fraught with uncertainty...

I got the call at 1pm. Called back at 4pm. Was told to wait for tonight. Freaked out, told everyone at work. Made an emergency run to Rite Aide. Cleaned everything again. Still waiting at 8pm...

I imagine this is somewhat similar to what it feels like when waiting for the next referral and the rumors say you're in.

Licensed

I got a call last night to let me know that I'm officially licensed. Guess what I do now?

A. do the happy dance
B. go for a 5 mile run
C. wait.

If you guessed "C", you win!

In other news...
Just before Christmas, I got a call from friend who had talked to another friend about my adoption plans. Friend 2 has information on adopting via another route that is cheaper and easier. I start laughing - internally, so I don't insult friend 1 - cheaper and easier does not exist. Everything is fraught with uncertainty, problems and, of course, waiting. Still I did contact friend 2. Her information was third hand and very vague. I'm still working my way through the chain of information. Shoot! It's not like I don't have time.

New Year's Resolution

So, one of my new year's resolutions has been to become more fit. Seriously, I think I could easily become Jabba the Hutt with all my moping sitting around.

Today I found this - bits of work out videos on YouTube. Finally, you can try them out before purchasing and get in a few minutes of raising the ol' heart beat. I definitely recommend Sarina Jain's Masala Bhangra workouts. They're so fun, I might just go buy the tape next month. (New budget is another resolution...)

Another Step Closer

The SW emailed me on New Year's Eve to let me know that my homestudy report was completed and had been sent on to the supervisor. That's the final step to getting my license. It's a little hard to describe what I'm feeling about thist... on the one hand, I'm all fluttery and on the other, I'm all "ehh". Once burned, twice shy.

I emailed back about a timeline and well, there really isn't one. You just have to go with the flow and hope for the best. I am hoping that I'll have a couple month wait so that dance competition season will end before. Eeek... I do have to have a chat with my boss and a conference coming up at the end of the month.

The only thing to really pin hopes on was "but it usually doesn’t take too long". No, I have no idea what that means.

If I was pregnant, I'd be really fat, tired and definitely ready to get that baby out. Instead, I think I've entered into the zen zone of "whatever". All the projects that I planned on doing are sitting in a corner... it seems kinda like waste of time to work on them. It's a problem of too much time. So, here's to hoping that soon I'll be out of time.

Homestudy Again...

This time last year, I was waiting to for the call from my agency's social worker to set up the homestudy visit. I was so excited... just waiting for the call (not "THE CALL" - just a call to set up the appointment). I drove back from the Christmas celebrations to Seattle for the first meeting, mentally rehearsing answers to questions I thought I might be asked. Then came the marathon cleaning and arranging of furniture. Preparing the dog. I swear I can still feel the excitment from it.

This year, the SW from the state finally made on Thursday (almost 12 months later than the first). It took about two hours, but it probably would have taken less time if I wasn't so chatty and the dog didn't keep trying to sit on her lap. The appointment was scheduled for 3.30pm and I didn't have time to take her (the dog) for a walk, so she (the dog) was a little excited to see someone else there. I pointed out my smoke detectors and fire extinguishers, the locked medicine box and all the fire exits. We discussed having fire drills - the SW recommended that I practice with the dog (seriously!). Everything was checked off - the report takes about two weeks to write up and is then sent to the supervisor. My fingerprints are still not back, so that has to also be cleared. Hopefully, it's just a christmas rush or vacation rush or something like that.

After that, I don't know. It's a little scary with all the "don't know" time frames. Initially, I was told that I would have a long wait (ha! they don't really know what long means...) and then as the SW was leaving, she told me that another family had been cleared the day before and was "already full." I don't know if that means I should be excited, worried or neither. I guess I'd have to say that I'm more than a little catious with my emotions this time around. I haven't done anything to prepare myself in months. No books, no magazine articles, no shopping for myself, nada. I'm not sure I want to start up again, only to have another torturous wait.

Home Study Part Deux

Tomorrow the SW from the state is coming to do the foster/adopt homestudy. I wish I could say that I was excited, but really, I'm not. I didn't clean nearly as deeply as before and I keep forgetting to lock up the wine bottles. There are still dishes in the sink - but I'm too tired to finish tonight. Hopefully, I'll get up early tomorrow morning and do it. I've had enough stress for today.

Really Hanging Around

What's the old saying... "men make plans and God laughs"...

It snowed on Saturday. Really fat flakes that stuck around long enough to make a snowman. Sadly, it melted in the rain on Sunday. Sunday night brought on a big storm - at least to Pacific Northwest standards - kinda like a Nor'easter only with more panic. Really, people around here are such pansies when it comes to inclement weather. I was a little worried about the satellite dish on the roof, but I also knew that there wasn't a clear path for the wind to blow it directly.

About 1.30am (monday), the power went out. I woke up about 5.30am to wait for the phone call from school... it never came. Eventually, I found my emergecy radio (hidden next to the emergency candles, except I already had candles out, so looked there last), wound it up and listened. No power anywhere, most of the county was dark. People are starting to call me to find out about school, but no word. I was just about to drive in when the radio finally announced the school closure at 6.30am. What were they holding out for? Who knows... I'm guessing they did not build in any extra days into the calendar (God forbid kids should attend school for one second more than the state mandated 180 days) and since some genius scheduled graduation on the last day of school, it's likely to be fubar when the missed days are added back in. BTW, it's now day three of no school and no one from the school has called. Someone did manage to update the school website. Heh.

Monday morning I drove down the road to get some hot coffee, but otherwise sat around the house reading a Patricia Cornwell book. Thanks to Ikea, I had plenty of batteries and candles. I even rigged up little hot pot set up using tea lights and the broiler tray from my toaster oven. Tuesday I went to the grocery store to pick up some more fruit and, you know... escape the four walls I'd been staring at for the last 24 hours. The wind had stopped and the roads were passable to the grocery. Of course, the highway was blocked by landslides and trees. There were huge lines to get gas, but I think they all used most of what they bought in the waiting.The power went back on at 12.37am, but we're still out of school. There's no real flooding (beyond the annual) around here. Lots of trees down and almost every street sign came down, but for the most part we're watching everything on TV, just like you are. It looks worse in the outlying areas, but I'm not going to have a real close look.

*update - I finally got a call. No school tomorrow either. The roads to the outside world are still sketchy and no one seems to what's going to happen, so I'm just hanging around.

Not Really Hanging Around

With the holidays coming on and three performances next week, I've barely been online in the last week, avoided email and blogs and just tried to keep my head above water.

I still have a ton of grading to do and am debating heading into the big city to meet up with a friend.... decisions, decisions, decisions...

Yesteday I got the insulation finished (finally!), in snowed and I finished all my christmas cards. My shopping is nearly done; all that is left is making of cookies for the neighbors and friends.

8 months... I almost wrote 9. Guess I'm starting to loose track of time. Have you bought anything for your baby this year? So far, I've bought a lot for others... and even thought about giving some of what I bought to someone else.

Tomorrow night is the foster-care home visit. It feels very anti-climatic

The To-Do List

Yesterday I didn't shop. Besides the fact that I really don't have a lot of money to shop with, I just didn't see anything that grabbed my attention. It's a sentiment I heard from many people, so I'm guessing that all crowds were of people who just wanted to shop. There were some good lap top deals, but I don't need one enough to fight the crowds.

Instead I spent the day doing genealogy research (and laundry). I stumbled on some new contacts on Thanksgiving and they wrote me back almost immediately. I know have copies of my great-great-great-grandfather's death certificate and will. You know what's really weird? With a few exceptions, my father's family all comes from the same general area in OH but apparently never met until arriving in Spokane, WA. I always heard stories about entire towns moving out to WA after getting letters from early arrivals - but an entire state? Even weirder? Part of my mother's family is from the same area too! Makes it easy to order records though.

Today, I'm putting Christmas lights, doing insulation (since it seems to be impossible to hire someone to do it with my schedule) and finishing the tree. I may have to buy new tree lights. My usual strand seems to have given up the ghost.