decisions, decisions, decisions

For that last month and half, I've receive no phone calls from the placement office. That seemed strange as the holidays are stressful for everyone and those with bad coping skills would seem to make worse choices... but nada. I emailed my licensor to find out what I was categorized. Apparently, our placement desk does pay attention to such things. I'm currently categorized as only getting calls for pretty much an adoptive placement. Which means never. Especially since I've still heard nothing from the adoption workers and apparently their department was cut by half at the beginning of the year.

I could leave it like that and just wait for an adoption worker to call me, probably sometime in Feb or March. After all, waiting is something I've become pretty good at after three years. Then I would probably have to wait some more and who knows how long that would be. Could be a week, could be another year.

I could change it to another designation. One choice is change it "more than likely would become an adoptive placement". This is a somewhat sketchy category. What appears in the initial intake is not what will be the next month or 6 months down the road. After all Lala was one of those who initially seemed pretty likely, but obviously wasn't as time went on. The other category could be termed "call me, what happens, happens". This might be for the people who truly believe that God has a plan for everything and fate is absolute. Honestly, I have real problems with that theory and it probably isn't the category for me.

However, I also problems with the "more than likely" category. Obviously, it's a not a done deal and will be very painful when the knife cuts the other way. I don't know if I can that again. At the same time, I don't know how much longer I want to sit around waiting for a phone call that seems to never come.