Summertime and we're so full of energy!

Well, at least one of us is...

The last few weeks of school, I was knocked out by some kind of weird illness. I had to give up coffee, anything with sugar or aspartame and eat every 3 hours to stave off waves of nausea. Every one kept asking me if I was pregnant. I told them that sperm does not live that long and I had no visits from angels.

I also started getting these hiddeously painful headaches. Actually it was one headache that seemed to last for almost three weeks. Through process of elimination, I've decided that my neck is somehow causing the problem. I couldn't get an appointment for the chiropractor until the coming week, so I've been spending a lot of time laying on the floor to help with the pressue.

Of course, none of this has affected the cuddler at all. He's practicing his walking all over the place and luckily getting much better so no large bruises. He's also spending quite a bit of time outside - he still doesn't like grass, but sitting on a blanket is quite entertaining for him. His mother seems to be getting it together, so I'm trying to prepare myself for him to going home soon. It seems like I'm stuck going no where with this whole adoption thing and I'm really starting to consider just giving up. I can't make it happen and every where I turn it just another road-block and delay.

Summer Time

Last night someone had his first taste of strawberry ice cream! Apparently, it was a hit because there was a lot of lip smacking and whining when it was all gone. I'll have to remember that because a first birthday party is coming up soon!

 

Sadly, that's something I never got to experience with Lala. All thin liquids (including popsicles and ice cream) were strictly forbidden because the aspiration issues. As far as I know, she still hasn't outgrown it. She did like chocolate cake though... :)

Food

I just wanted to update you that the "baby lasagna" was and is a hit. It freezes beautifully and reheats better than the original. Seriously, it is a great idea.  Also, the chicken nuggets were a hit as well. I knew they would be, given than the Cuddler loves chicken, but apparently fried is even better.

 

He had his monthly visit with the CW last week and I'm starting to plan for him to go home just before Christmas. The hints she was dropping gave me the idea that this was likely. I trying to put all the doom and gloom out of my mind and remain positive. Of course, I do have this "non-specific anxiety issue"... which means whenver anything goes wrong I immediately think it's the end of the world. As long as I don't think too far into the future or ponder the fact that apparently, I'm meant to live in uncertainty, it's ok.

 

 

The Zoo!

Today the Cuddler and I went to the Zoo. He's a little too young, but the weather is gorgeous and it's a holiday weekend... so why not. Most of the animals weren't all that exciting to the Cuddler, but he did really like the underwater viewing of the beluga whale. It kept swimming in circles that included a rub of the window we stood at. And someone got over his dislike of grass enough to play on the big lawn for a while.

The area we live in is fairly rural. The zoo is a bit of drive away, but really not that bad. Heck, I commuted longer when I lived in NY. Sadly, most of my students have never left this area. They've never been a mall full of stores - our local "mall" (and I use that term loosely) is nearly empty. They've never been to a zoo, museum or seen a ballet. Although he's only 10 months old, the Cuddler has visited the zoo. We've been to the mall (he wasn't impressed). I think, however, we'll wait another month or so before hitting a museum. A few more years before the ballet.

Baby Lasagna

The other day I found a great baby vegitarian lasagna recipe... and it claimed to freeze well. Since The Cuddler isn't quite up to eating the same thing as me, I'm always wondering what to feed him for dinner. Plus he loves pasta.

 

The lasagna is made in a muffin tin. No lasagna noodles (does that mean it's not really a lasagna?), but there is the layering of foods. I used tiny seashell pasta and layered it with the sauce. The sauce was pretty basic. Tomato paste, chicken broth with grated carrot and zuchini. Even at baby stage we're sneaking those extra vegis in. Plus the zuchini was from garden last year, so I'm nearly self-sufficient! The sauce is layer with the past and some full-milk ricotta and mozzarella.

 

It was a little bland for me, but judging from the amount of sauce in the Cuddler's hair, it was a success. Tonight we'll be thawing out a frozen "cupcake"'s worth to try it from the freezer.

Adoption Homestudy

My prediction of getting the adoption homestudy done sometime in 2010 might just be true. I received an email today letting me know that it's possible that we may just get started in June.

At this point, I'm really hoping that this will be done before I my fingerprints expire- We're down to 10 months left on those expiring little suckers. Sadly, while the card may expire, my "porey" hard to get fingerprints won't actually change. Seriously, wouldn't it make more sense to dispense with the 12 month rule (saving the state millions) and instead have a computer flag a foster parent's liscense if they're convicted of a crime? Maybe alert the liscensor?

To Tell or Not To Tell

This Sunday, the Cuddler and I sat next to someone we hadn't met before... she remarked on how cute he was and how beautiful his eyes were and then said "he looks just like his mom!" For a moment I was a bit taken aback... because he does look his mom, who is not me. For about 15 seconds I was thinking "oh crap! did she recognize him? Is there going to be a scene?" before realizing that she was talking about me. Then I tried not to laugh because seriously, the Cuddler doesn't look a thing like me other than skin color - we're both pasty white. Then again, given that we live in an area where the sun shines less than a third of the year, almost everyone is pale and pasty.

I haven't told anyone at the church that the Cuddler isn't "my" child. I haven't been attending there for very long and when I walked in with him, many just made assumptions. I'm pretty sure that many believe I have a husband at home as well (a "church avoider"). No one ever asked and while there are people who do know, I'm guessing they're not gossipers.

How do you broach the subject with people who are aquaintences, but not really "friends"? Really it's none of their business and I don't want to breach the Cuddler's confidentiality by labeling him, especially if I do end up adopting him. Then again, am I "hiding" this information like it's something to be ashamed of... ?

Another funny story... I was talking to someone at the daycare about the Cuddler's huge feet. Like clown feet, is this kid. The consensus was that he's going to be very tall. Then her significant other asked "how tall is his dad?" as I was leaving and before I even thought about it I replied "couldn't tell ya" and walked out the door. Yah. I'm thinking someone went home scratching his head.

Food

The Cuddler is well into solid foods. In fact, he's almost refusing to eat babyfood... at least if someone else is trying to feed it too him. He's just starting to use a spoon - without much dexterity - but won't use a plate or bowl. They end up on the floor rather quickly.  The daycare has also reported that he often "feeds the dog" at lunch time (dropping food off the highchair tray and watching for the dog to eat it). At least at home, there actually is a dog so my mess is less.

 

Now that we're fully into the solid food stage, every night is a conundrum to figure out what to serve without too much crazieness or work. For myself, I'm a haphazard cook. I rarely see the meal as worth the dishes to complete it and sans child pretty much stick to frozen meals or random snacks. But I am trying to change that. Someone in my family has to have good eating habits and it might as well be the Cuddler.

 

I signed up for e-mealz just see if that would help. Basically, every week I download a new weekly menu with a shopping list. It's supposed to help with meal planning and food budgeting. While I don't follow it every day, it has made meal planning a little easier. As for the budget part, well some weeks are really cheap and others, not so much.

 

Last night was "spicy sloppy joes". I cooked the meat without the spices for the baby, but did leave the onions in for him. He also had his favorite (not!) green beans. Or rather, the dog had green beans. The dog's health is great by the way.

 

Tonight is home-made chicken nuggets with carrots. The cuddler does like carrots and loves chicken, so the dog might just have to settle for dog food.

10 Months Old

Tomorrow the cuddler will be 10 months old. He's standing up and squating down quite well, but still no walking. He's fully satisfied to walk on his knees or crawl where ever he needs to be. This has already caused him some consternation as one does have to touch the grass to crawl across it. You have to laugh when watching him balance on his hienny while desperately trying not to let any skin come into contact with the dreaded green stuff.

I also cannot convince him to drink out of a sippy cup for love or money. (ok, I never offered him money...) He's much more interested in dumping it out all over the place. He doesn't care about juice, water or even formula. He's also not that interested in drinking out of cups... I'm just dreading as to what is going to happen when the "ba-bas" have to go in a couple of months. Any ideas?

Another Month Gone By

Just another Saturday - that makes 25 months on the slow boat to China.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it's raining again. We had a week of really gorgeous weather. It was so warm that I actually wore just a sweater to work, instead of the usual lon-johns-and-turtleneck-plus-a-coat-just-case outfit. Yes, it's really that cold almost all year 'round. Luckily, I stocked up warmer clothes for the cuddler. Otherwise he'd be freezing in sleeveless t-shirts and shorts... because that's all the stores are carrying. (and what is up with the fact that there are NO nice baby clothes for boys? No boy under the age of 4 needs anything but a onesie and jeans? Seriously wrong).

The cuddler won't be going anywhere soon. Apparently there aren't any relative placements in the works currently. So our vacation plans are off and running again. We'll be heading someplace warm (and get to wear those shorts!) and I'm literally counting down the days. It's also looking like there will be no summer school this year, so I'll have the whole thing off! It is a pay cut, but after this year, I soooo need the break from teenagers.

oh yeah! The cuddler is standing by himself! This may mean a summer camping trip!!! Walking babies are so much easier to camp with... trust me on this. Especially if you don't have an RV.

Cute Baby!

The other day, the cuddler and I were at the grocery store. As we neared the end of an aisle, I saw a gentleman quickly walking past - obviously trying to shop as quickly as possible. As he passed the aisle we were in, he screeched to a stop, turned around and said "cute baby!" and then speed off for the produce section.

A drive by compliment!

A Visit

Lat week, we had a visit with the cuddler's CW. Not much new information, but it's possible that a relative placement may have been found... apparently, this CW is sit back and wait for someone to tell me what's going on because "otherwise I can't be bothered" kind of person. The actual words she used were "I heard a rumor last week, but no one has contacted me with an update". Did I mention that every single thing this office does is completely compartmentalized? I can tell you that basically the CW is responsible for making sure that the cuddler is alive and well. Everything else is handled by someone else. Seriously.

This news isn't entirely welcome. I've always known that the cuddler was "temporary" but as time has gone by and no family member stepped up or appeared to motivated to do anything, I kinda let my mind think about the possibility of his staying. I suppose I should have kept myself on the fence for several more months.

Of course, it doesn't help that I keep reading blogs about people who find out rather quickly that they'll get to adopt their first placement. Seriously, isn't there anyone who rode the merry-go-round several times before striking it lucky?

I'm still on the list for a homestudy sometime near the beginning of the appocalypse. At least now I get to call every week to check on list. I can't decide if this means I'm moving up or what.

how many posts in this blog titled "waiting"?

I just got off the phone with the adoption worker assigned to me... I'm still at the bottom of the list for the homestudy. Call back next week. Apparently, the glacier is frozen in place.

 

In the meantime, the cuddler continues to do well. His last check up showed that he getting very tall (with his gianormous feet you had to figure...), keeping up his weight and doing everything he should be doing. His is supposed to have a visit tomorrow (after nearly a month of none) and then a visit with his CW. At least I got a email about it today, instead of hearing about it afterwards.

random questions

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
my hands
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
grey - they're all grey
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no.
4. Do you plan outfits?
sort of - I try not to miss-match and generally only wear my fav combo of green and red during the holiday season
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
relaxed
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
the scarf on my grizzly bear christmas ornament/computer montior topper
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I dream a lot, but don't really put effort into remembering unless it's really weird... like the time I a co-worker borrow my foot for her medical school disection assignment.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Luckily, no. But it's only the middle of the day. Usually all new students are dumped into my afternoon class.
9. What are you craving right now?
Lunch. I forgot to bring on.
10. Do you floss?
Yeah, but not as much as I should.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
cabbage rolls and soup
12. Are you emotional?
Yes.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
no.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick.
15. Do you like your hair?
yes, if it could only hold onto the dye for more than a week.
16. Do you like yourself?
most of the time
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
eww. NO.
18. What are you listening to right now?
Students wandering into their classes.
19. Are your parents strict?
I know they like to think they were, but not really.
20. Would you go sky diving?
no. I didn't find paraponting that exciting, so I'm thinking that I wouldn't find sky diving that great either.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
honestly, it's been so long since I've tried it, I really don't know.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
depends on what you mean by celebrity... do politicians count? The notorious?
23. Do you rent movies often?
well, I pay for Netflicks every month but I've had one movie sitting on my shelf for about 3 months.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
the snowman being built by the grizzly bear of the aforementioned christimas ornament.
25. How many countries have you visited?
7?
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
yes - hasn't everyone?
27. Ever been on a train?
many, many times. I like trains, it's a great way to travel.
28. Brown or white eggs?
brown
29.Do you have a cell-phone?
of course
30. Do you use chap stick?
rarely
31. Do you own a gun?
a water gun (actually two)
32. Can you use chop sticks?
yes
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
the baby
34. Are you too forgiving?
I think no.
35. Ever been in love?
maybe
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
going to work
37. Ever have cream puffs?
yes, once.
38. Last time you cried?
last night during that humane society commercial
39. What was the last question you asked?
what day will you all be here? (the seniors are a little sketchy when you have less than a month to go.
40. Favorite time of the year?
summer - because I'm freezing the rest of the year.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
yes
42. Are you sarcastic?
Is the Pope a Catholic?
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
no - doesn't that have Ashton Kutcher? I dislike his acting.
44. Ever walked into a wall?
yes, about 30 minutes ago
45. Favorite color?
pink
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes, but not lately
47. Is your hair curly?
flat as a pancake. It's nearly impossible to get a curl.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
I do itunes
49. Do looks matter?
apparently so.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
no
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
no. I'm cheap like that.
52. Do you like your life right now?
at times - the adoption thing is very frustrating
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
sometimes.
54. Can you handle the truth?
it depends what we're being honest about.
55. Do you have good vision?
Lord-luv-a-duck no! I'm nearly blind
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
not really. I tend to forget about them after a week or so.
57. Do you talk on the phone a lot?
no - I've actually come to really dislike it.
58. The last person you held hands with?
can't remember... how sad is that?
59. What are you wearing?
jeans, turtleneck and fleece pull-over. my standard work outfit thanks to the near incessant cold air blowing in from the "heater".
60.What is your favorite animal?
dog
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
The Courtyard
62. Can you hula hoop?
I used to...
63. Do you have a job?
at the moment. Although I've been assured that it is unlikely that I will be RIF'd the state legislature did away with the initiative that pays for me...
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Books, of course
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
more than once.

Time...

Today I was asked to another child - I have the room, the kid walks, so I could handle it and the weather is nice enough to kick the dog out of house much more. I even have a new vacuum to get all that floating dog hair (shedding!!!)... and I had to say no. Why?

On Wed. I have to mail in a very important project for work. One that has an strict deadline and I'm not finished. It even has three pages of instructions on how to mail it! It's a commitment and I've spent a lot of time working on it. If it's not perfected and mailed by Wed. all that work is worthless. A new child and this deadline may just drive me crazy. It's two days away. Two stinking days... but they can't plop the kid in a spot for two days, obviously.

It's such a fine line to walk. On the one hand I have to keep my life going. I can't stop living my life. At the same time, I feel like most of the time I get calls for children exactly when something is already going on (out of town conference, major project, toilet explosion, etc.), where I just have to say "not now" and then spend the next two weeks wondering if that was one.

Happy Easter!

I wish I could post the Easter photos, but you'll just have to take my word for it... they're very cute! Everyone loved the Easter togs - especially the little argyle sweater vest.

Two Years

On March 29th, I officially hit the two year mark of waiting. It seems a little low when compared to those who are up in the thirties...

Following China

I still follow China on periphery level. Rumor Queen is in my blog reader and occasionally I get an email from my agency, but I haven't even read a group or forum post in months. What's the point? Do I really need to know which Kai Lan video is great? Honestly, if my LID day wasn't written on a piece of something in my paperwork folder, I'd forget what it is.

In the meantime, I'm still waiting to start homestudy number three. I did get a call and I'm fourth in line. At the moment. I could be bumped for someone with an actual adoptive placement in their home at any moment. Nice catch-22... those with pre-adoptive placements already in the home get first dibs on the SW's time, but I can't get a pre-adoptive placement until I finish this homestudy. I did feel a little selfish in wanting to be ahead of the family who've had their placement for four years before getting to this point. But then again, maybe a little selfishness is in order.

The cuddler continues to charm all those who meet him. And he finally got his first tooth! It's slowly making it's first appearance, but according to my cousin it's quite sharp. (he's also learning biting!) I tried to get him to eat some avocado pieces last night, but he wasn't having it. We'll be moving onto carrots pieces this weekend.

Any ideas on what to do for Easter? I'm really wanting to do the whole easter basket thing, but can't figure out what to put in it

False Alarm

Apparently, the visit was with a parent... not some random person from out of the blue, probably. And no one ever bothered to officially notify me of it. Or the cuddler's actual CW, for that matter. She was very surprised when I asked about it, but apparently unconcerned because she didn't really bother to find out who the visit was with for sure, since he was returned unharmed and all.

In the meantime, I'm still waiting for an adoption worker to call me. I'm not really being all that pushy at the moment since it's spring break and once school starts again, I'll be finding out if my job is going to eliminated or if someone who can take my job is having their job eliminated. After five years I'm still at the bottom of the list - two jobs have to eliminated, so it could very well be me. It's driving my anxiety up more than just a tick.

Not to be an Eyeore or anything, but, of course, there is another possible wrench thrown into the works. Although I am surprised that this didn't wait to happen until after I had the (3rd!) homestudy completed.

Just When I Was Starting To Get Used To The Idea...

"the cuddler" had a mysterious visit this morning - with who is currently unknown... does this mean they've found another family member? Maybe someone will let me know another day.

Meanwhile, my paperwork has been completed for a week now and no one has bothered to set up any appointments or even call about the actual homestudy. Maybe I should move my projections to some time in 2011.