In thinking about it, I realize that each batch of referrals brings a new blow to grief. Although many psychologists now refute the stages of grief, one can seem them abounding on groups and boards.
- Denial - the wait won't be more than 12, 18, 24 and now current estimates of 36 months
- Anger - why didn't my agency tell me I would be sitting around for the next 3 years?
- Bargaining - "all those with children should get out of line"; "all in God's time - and I just need to have more faith" and etc.
- Depression - sitting in an empty nursery wondering what to do...
- Acceptance - honestly, I haven't seen any posts on this. I don't know if by nature, adoptive parents are not able to accept anything until they have an actual child or if those who have accepted are just not stressing themselves by joining in conversation.
I have to say that I'm working towards acceptance of a 3 year wait. I just hope that next month doesn't bring another year of waiting.
4 Talk To Me!:
The China wait is crazy, that's for sure. I think everyone deals with the waiting in their own way, and I don't think one is better than the other. I cycle between all different feelings, acceptance comes and then it leaves at times. More often than not, I'm just whiny about waiting.
Don't quote me on this, because I'm not a China adopter and just may be spreading rumors here, but I read on another blog that the 2 day referral batch was largely because there was such a high number of families logged in on those days. So, though the 2 days is terribly distressing, they actually processed a number of families similar to before. Is that true?
Congrats on your LID date, by the way.
I brand my accepotance as 'resignation'. I am completely resigned to another year of waiting. I may crab on occassion but I don't expect anythin any sooner.
I'm at acceptance, and I think because I entered into this trying to beat a deadline... and knowing the wait would go up. I have spoken at length with my large China only agency too, and they are very confident that my wait won't be more than 24 months (they are predicting 24 months for me at this time)... the CCAA is working to get the wait time down too. We can't see it all from where we sit. But what comes up must come down. For me, I'd like a 2 year wait, I'm single and have a lot to accomplish/save before Macey comes home. 3 years would be tough, but if it comes to that, it comes to that. I don't see how getting worked up helps, you know? It's normal, but it doesn't make the waiting any easier.
Of course, I'm not even 1 month into my wait yet. 2 weeks only. Easy from my perspective. I feel for those who thought it would be 6-8 months and it turned into this...
And I believe Maggie is right, I had heard the same.
Hey... I didn't realize our LID's were only 6 days apart. Groovy.
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