Our Adoption Story

You know how you read those adoption stories where a baby just seems to fall in to a couple's arms? Or something that seems right out of Life*ti*me TV? I wanted to be that person. There are thousands of parents out that do.. and it's not realistic. Contrary commercials, news casts and telethons, adoption is hard. It's heartbreaking and joyous at the same time.

In 2005, I decided to adopt a child. I won't go into all the details surrounding this decision, but it wasn't something I just jumped at... I did a lot of soul searching, talking with friends and researching. I completed paperwork to adopt from China in early 2007. Just in time for the slow down. In fact, I knew it was slowing down as my paperwork was flown to China - I just didn't think it would drop to glacial speeds. When the wait for a referral hit the five year mark (four months after I submitted my paperwork!) I started to reassess. Five years is a long time and who knew if the wait would keep growing. I did not want to be a new mom at 60!

I started looking into domestic adoption and started down the path to adopting from foster care. I told myself I was walking in with my eyes open. I went to the informational/training classes “knowing” what I was in for. Ha! As I was officially licensed on a Friday at 5pm., I can’t really say it took less than 24 hours to get a placement. By the following Monday morning, however, I got a call. Two days later, Lala was home for the first time.

On the day Lala was born, I posted this. It’s funny that I mention how things change when something goes from possible to imminent. Little did I know that my daughter was being born a thousand miles away that very day. If I had known, I probably wouldn’t have been obsessing about clothes.

Eleven months later, she returned to her BM. I was very conflicted and I had a very sad Christmas. It’s not a memory I like to visit.

In February of 2009, I got a call asking to temporarily take in a seven month old boy. Two weeks at the most. When I got him home, he pee’d on me (as little boys are wont to do). He giggled and I said to him “you’re the one aren’t you? You’re going to stay.” He just smiled. Seriously.

In July of 2009, 8 months after Lala was returned to her BM, I was asked to provide respite for her. Two weeks at the most (do you see a pattern? I know I do.). I saddened. Not because I didn’t want to see her, I did, desperately… but all this moving around could not be good for her.

On November 8, 2010, we officially became a family. It didn’t really hit me until the next day. Then I just grinned like an idiot all day.

Five years. From 2011, it seems rather quick and easy. It wasn’t. But it wasn’t the decades that some people experience and still are… Sometimes I think it I’d started in 2005 with foster to adopt, I wouldn’t have waited so long, but then again, I wouldn’t have my children either. Maybe. Life works in weird ways sometimes.