Brrr!

I have to admit that I'm having a hard time reading many of my regular blog favorites, as they display their spring bounty of color and sun. The green-eyed monster is making quite the display. We are freezing! Still scraping the windows in the morning and wearing multiple layers of clothing. There are only a few daffodils popping up – besides the grocery store – and only the earliest of Rhodies have shown anything but green leaves.

 

I know the wait for Spring is the trade off for living in an area where snow is a given at Christmas time, but I'll be honest. Fake snow is starting to look better every year.

TGIF!

It's Friday and SUNNY!!! Ok, I may be a little excited... we haven't seen sun in a long time around these parts and even less of weather warm enough for the kids go outside. It feels a bit like winning the lottery. With less shopping.

 

Also, I found a recipe online for pizza rolls on a stick. We're not going to have a stick (living in a gastronomical wasteland, it would probably take me hours to find a place that actually sold the damn sticks)... but semi-home made pizza rolls sound good doesn't it? I may even toss on a couple of pieces of asparagus for fun. Or not.

 

yay!

 

 

Spring!

I feel like I'm coming out of hibernation.

 

For the last six months I've been working on a project for work. And when I haven't been working on it, I've been perfecting the fine art of procrastination by hiding behind a book... and not accomplishing anything else, because I really should be working on the project. Honestly, I felt like I couldn't work on anything but this project or that I shouldn't do anything but this project. And the project was just frustrating me. It wasn't coming together, I didn't know how to accomplish the goals of the project. I couldn't get into it and it just wasn't doing what I thought it would help me with.

 

Then I just let go of it.

 

There was a lot of vascilating and gnashing of teeth in making that decision. I don't mean to put it in a simplistic light. I feel guilty about wasted time and money and of not accomplishing a goal I'd set for myself. Add in the embarrassement of having to admit to collegues that I'm not going to finish this project. It's not the place I planned to be on March 22nd. To be completely honest, there is a small part of me that hopes I will still be hit by the inspiration fairy and magically finish in the next week... even though it's probably (see? I still can't write in absolute terms) impossible and I needed to let it go for my sanity. 

 

Some times it's easy to let something go. You just turn and walk away. No guilt. No worry. Other times, we're so emotionally invested we become trapped. Or at least, I do. Or was. I probably should have quit a long time ago, but I just didn't want to admit to myself that I wasn't going to accomplish goal, that I was hiding, that I couldn't do everything that I wanted to and that perhaps, I really am just too lazy to get it done. Or just not good enough. Or any of the other negative self-bashing thoughts I could think of.

 

I just let it go. All of it. The stress. The guilt. The emotions.

 

Maybe I am too lazy. Maybe I'm just not good enough. Maybe I can't do everything I want to and there are things that I just can't do at this point of my life. Maybe there are things that are just more important. And I'm ok with it.

Home Blogs

I need to start reading home type blogs again. Everything has gotten so busy, that when I'm not working on some task, I'm reading a total escapist type book. Which is fun, I'm not going to lie... but... sometimes it's a little too escapist and I can't stop myself from reading on!

 

This would explain why there is play-dough hiding all over my house and it took me 15 minutes to get all the play-dough of of the Cuddler's shoes this morning. Or why I haven't really made a salad in months or any side dish that required more than one step to prepare.

 

My house is starting to feel like just a place to sleep and not really a home. Is that weird? These days we're only there for a couple of hours in the evenings anyways - even on the weekends!

 

I'll be so glad when summer comes!

2012

I am not enjoying 2012 over the last couple of weeks.

 

The deadline is quickly approaching on the year long project I've been working... um... procrastinating on. I have so much to do for this and so little idea on how to do this, coupled with not much enthusiasm. What on earth made me think this was a good idea? Not sure if I really need a job this badly.

 

There was a shocking event at my job. And by shocking, I mean completely stunned and dismayed. I really don't want to go into the whole story, but let me just say that the end of day brought almost everyone to a meeting about how to deal with reporters/media. That's never good when you're still wandering around thinking "WTF?!!"

 

If that wasn't bad enough, a student in one of my classes passed away last week. It was not expected and just isn't explainable. The memorial service is today and being held in a local stadium. It's been something has been hard to deal with for the rest of our student population. Really, there has been nothing for us to do, but be understanding and supportive while trying to keep things on an even keel.

 

Also, it's February. The weather has been positively spring like, except that it's not spring. There isn't anything to plant or look good... we're all just sitting around waiting for another storm and get this whole thing over with.

 

I feel like Debbie Downer, except really, I have a reason to be down... I just don't want to be.

ToDo

My To-Do List for this weekend:

 

1. fold laundry - doing at least one load per day has actually been working and my mountain is more of a hill these days! But, now I have another hill of "fold". Win some, loose some

2. Rearrange Kitchen - I've been wanting to do this for a while, but just haven't found the time. It is the world's smallest kitchen outside of a boat/RV! I just can't seem to arrange it so that I have what I need, when I need it. A major kitchen overhaul is needed, but re-doing the kitchen (or rather being without a kitchen) just isn't going to happen at this point.

3. Make bread - I miss it! And just haven't had the time in so long!

Potty Training Again

 

We are still working on potty training for the little man. To be honest, working probably isn’t the best word to use… during the week there just isn’t enough time to really get into it and during the holidays either (seriously, potty training while in a strange house? Not happening – too many trains to break).

But on the weekends, we are trying. I know I’m not consistent enough. I’ll be honest, cleaning up poop and sanitizing the floors on a constant basis is not my favorite. I get frustrated when the boy refuses to use the potty or claims not to have to go, only to be cleaning up a big puddle five minutes later.

And it’s not like I can find go advice on potty training boys. One of my friends had a son who changed his own diapers, rather than use the potty. (Handy, yes. But I don’t want to go there). My mother admits that she sent my brothers to an uncle (who is not available). My cousins with boys used sticker charts. (my son just pulls the stickers off). Everyone else has girls.

I should have known that my daughter was too easy to train.

I’m beginning to wonder if the poor boy won’t be able to go to Kindergarten because he won’t use the potty.

New Year's Resoultions

New Year's Resolutions. I enjoy them. I enjoy them so much that I make resolutions several times during the year – new school year, new season, birthday… I'm a goal oriented kinda gal. I love the idea of starting afresh and having a new beginning. I just have a hard time completing them. Maybe because many are open ended (be nicer to people! Be healthier!) or because they are REALLY BIG (save $50,000 emergency fund!), but for whatever reason, I am just not a closer.

 

Which brings me to my 2012 resolution: be a finisher! I know, it's another open ended goal. How do I know if I'm a finisher? Well, I'll know when my goals are met. The same goals I've had forever. Maybe I'll post updates, maybe I won't, but I'll be working on them and hopefully closing them out.

 

    Eat healthier meals with more vegetables

    Work out twice a week

    Do at least one load of laundry every day

    Complete paperwork for work certifications

    Complete one video for work project.

    Finish house projects currently not completed!!!!

2011

Time just keeps on slipping by… by the time I think I’ve got the minimum covered, something else comes slamming down. I knew it would be a busy year, but it seems like I’m just running around trying to catch up.  And I feel like I’ve been posting the same refrain over and over. We’re busy! We’re busy! Who wants to read that over and over?

I need a time management guru. Someone who will watch me and say “stop reading that book and get stuff done!” (Kindle, thy name is time-suck)

Happy Holidays

Did you see that? Whizzing by? Was that December? Good gooogly-mooogly! Even the mornings seem to scream by! Probably because of the constant deadlines I’m facing. As soon as I one is done, another one rears it’s ugly head. And those are just work deadlines! There are only 5 more days until Christmas! 

And then the new year… which means I’ve got to get deciding on what to sign the kids up for? More than one class at the Y? Is three too young for multiple classes? Or is it just right, given that it’s going to be raining for the next three months and the polish will soon wear off the new toys? I don’t want to over schedule, but I also don’t want to be dealing with a nutty boy because he hasn’t been able to work off his energy by jumping on the couch.

Post Holiday

I have to say that my 30 days to a relaxing holiday turned out pretty well. Sure, part of it was letting go of things that just weren’t going to be done (bathroom painting), but taking it all in stride and planning ahead did work! I even handled the previous weekend of barf like water off a ducks back.

We ended up with 17 people for dinner! I’m still a little shocked that I managed to get everyone in the house. True, there was no thematic center piece and the plates were paper, but do you really need all that fancy stuff for a family dinner? Not for my family! Besides, we had actual molded jello thingys. And since no one in my family can actually make these (we were all pretty impressed with bro.’s new gf), they were indeed fancy. I did go a tiny-tiny bit Mar+ha S+ewar+ on the turkey, making a honey-mustard-butter rub/greaser/flavor whatchmacallit for it. It was also in the gravy and got really good reviews for everyone. The beans were roasted and the potatoes were instant (hey! they are really good!) and we had a variety of sides from other family members. (Broccoli salad!)

Friday was not spent at the shops fighting the crowd (although I really tried to get someone to go with me… apparently the same crowd who doesn’t care about fancy table settings, also does not care about shopping bargains). Instead, I trimmed my willow tree and put up the holiday lights. For once, I had the time and it wasn’t raining (rarely do these things coincide)… plus I bought this little beauty. Hanging the lights went from a multi-hour exercise in fear, to 10 minutes with kids running around.

It’s not the greatest photo, but the kids were very excited to see everything come on. I think they enjoy the lights more than anything else… although Santa is making a pretty good showing in the Christmas chatter around the breakfast table.

Bring on Christmas!

Unprepared

This weekend, I had big plans...

 

Instead I got two sick kids, A LOT of Clorox wipes and work anxiety.

 

Sick kids I can handle for the most part. It was gross and prevented us from leaving our home for two days... but mostly it was OK.

 

The anxiety, however, was another story. I thought I forgot to do something at work. Something that was really important and I was sure it was the end of the world. When I go there, I really go there. I can go from paper cut to death in less that 30 seconds. My anxiety is something that I wish I could say that I don't talk about, but talking about it is really the only I can cope. So, not only was I stressed out, but I also kept posting stressed out messages on my facebook page... because I was stuck in my house with two sick kids and no adults to talk to.

 

Then I got to work and found out it was all for nothing. I could, literally (and I mean that word in it's true meaning, not just an intensifier) and physically feel the relief flowing threw me. I was giddy for about five minutes.

 

Now I'm just annoyed at myself for this lost weekend! I could have been doing so many other things instead of desperately attempting to rid myself of anxiety! Like buying a turkey! Which I haven't bought yet and have had research on how to thaw in the sink.

 

For a 16 to 20 pound turkey, I will need about 10 to 12 hours of bathing the frozen turkey in cold water. I'm not sure how I'm going to changing the water every 30 minutes over night, but then again, what will I complain about when I'm 80?

7 Days Left

I haven't bought a turkey yet?! I haven't purchased anything! Ack!

 

And I have like 10 people coming! I know! I'm shocked too! Not sure where everyone is going to eat, but they're family, so I'm guessing they can sit on the floor if they need to.

 

Methinks I have been doing a little too much relaxing into the holidays... I've got nothing prepared and my house is verging on disaster-ish. Haven't written a paper I need for tomorrow and I still have a huge pile of papers to grade.

 

Stressed out? Yah, me too. So I spent the afternoon relearning the Santa Lucia song so I can teach it to Lala in time for Santa Lucia day and learning how to create a Santa Lucia crown and stjärngossar hats for the kids. Might as well as enjoy myself in the craziness.

 

It's supposed to snow in the next few days, but it cold today! Must purchase new mittens for kids and myself... and maybe some furry boots? Brrr!

Procrastination

This year, I’m attempting to obtain a national board certification in teaching. It’s a lot of writing, planning and thinking. I have a meeting to go over my progress this Thursday… and I’m currently procrastinating by watching the rain and thinking about all the things I “need” to do to the bathroom before Thanksgiving. And to add a little more pressure to myself, I won’t be able to attend the meeting for December as it coincides with Lala’s holiday school concert. (At a real theater!!! Not a school gym, like the old days… oh no.)  Did I mention that I’m performing tonight? Part of the foodball action – I’m singing the Elmo song. It’s becoming my tradition to sing some off the wall Adam Sandler song. I just wish he had a bigger repertoire of school appropriate ones.

In the meantime, I noticed that a few people were showing up via a comment on another website. In honor of that, I direct to some of the books I read before becoming a foster parent…

Really, this became a go to book for information, when things seemed confusing. And believe me, there is a lot of confuse you. It's not insurmountable, but you will have some days that just cause you scratch your head in wonder.

This is more of an inspiring story type book. Really, you need to have those inspiring stories to refresh your soul.

Not going to lie, some of things in this book scared the crap out of me. Personally, I think that's a good thing. Parenting is not for the faint of heart and adoption even less so... forewarned is forearmed. Seriously, if only buy one, this is it.

Veteran’s Day

Despite my long to-do list, I couldn’t let today go by without saying “Thank You!” to all those who have served and are currently serving our country. It’s not an easy path to trod, and I’m sure at times it doesn’t seem worth it, but I appreciate it more than I can express.

Another Drop in the Bucket

 

Despite having fewer donations to auction off than in past years and everyone tightening their belts, our Dessert Auction manage to make over $1600.00! That translates into 1600 pounds of food donated to our local food banks!

As with any event, things went wrong, but for the most part it was fun, organized and no one’s item got lost or “won” something they hadn’t bid on (it happens… never scratch your forehead during a charity auction!).

Adoption Day

Today is our Adoption Anniversary Day! Okay… I completely forgot about it because the dessert auction was scheduled this evening and there are so many things to remember to do, that I literally cannot find the words I need to speak and be understood. I said to someone at the auction, “you know that thing…. where people throw balls… in the big area with the wood floor”? After about 15 seconds, the person replied… “you mean the dodge ball game?” Yah.. can’t talk.

Needless to say, when the florist delivered flowers with a big smile and “Congratulations!”, it took a few minutes for me to remember what they would be for!

 

Look at that smile! Despite the rain, mud and rotting pumpkins (it’s really, really wet!), we had an awesome afternoon finding pumpkins! And without adoption, it wouldn’t have been possible.

In honor of our anniversary, I’d like to put a plug in for foster care/adoption. I know we all look at the numbers flashed on news programs about the number of children available for adoption and think “how sad”, but the reality behind the 30 second news story is that those are real children. And another 250,000 will enter foster care in the coming year. There are many reasons why people won’t adopt from foster care, I’ve said them all too! It’s not an easy path to walk… then again, neither is parenthood. Whether you adopt or have biological children, those durned kids don’t always do what you want them to, they don’t always follow the path you hoped and the perfect family photo is a one second snap in the years of time. Ask anyone with adult children for the real story.

In my experience, there is much more support and help for foster parents and foster care adoption, than with private or international adoption. Yes, there are caseworkers who are slow de or dishonest, etc. but that hasn’t been my, albeit limited, total experience. If you’ve ever even had an inkling of an idea to become a foster parent or to adopt from foster care, please go out and attend one informational meeting. I swear they won’t act like used car salesmen and try to talk you into something you aren’t prepared for. Just one step.

Christmas Giveaway

You may have noticed the new banner – or if you’re reading via a reader, you may want to click over… because 5 Minutes for Mom is hosting their annual Christmas Giveaways! 30 days of gifts to try for!

Last year, I won a spanking new dumptruck for the Cuddler and one of those Razor scooter things, which was passed on to another family. Two less gifts to buy, one less trip to the toy store, more time to make cookies! How can you beat that?

The rules have slightly changed this year, giving everyone only one entry for each prize – rather than multiple entries for things like following them on Twitter. Will that improve your chances? Well, you definitely won’t win if you don’t enter, so head over now!

What I’m Thankful For

If there is one thing that teaching has taught me, it’s that there is a lot more to people that we never ever see. In today’s world, I am thankful that despite any annoyances (orange juice on the mattress) caused by my children, I have them in life. I’m thankful that I have a job that keeps us fed, warm and allows us to see the doctor whenever we want. I can buy the things we need and many of the things we want. I didn’t feel panic when the Cuddler grew three sizes over night, I just went out and bought new clothes. For many people, it’s not that easy.

Over the next ten days, I will be immersed in a school-wide effort to fill the shelves of the local food pantries. When I say school-wide, I really mean community-wide. This annual event is HUGE! Last year’s total was over 500,000 lbs of food donated to the regional food pantry distributor. And that was just our half… this is a competition between two neighboring towns to see who can raise the most – the other town also raised over 500,000lbs! Why Oprah never covered this, I cannot imagine.

For me, this means endless fundraisers to supervisor, bags of food to donate and trying to figure out how much I can really spend and how much wiggle room I have (because I always over spend the budget!). It also means a lot fun! Every night, we’ll head out to a local restaurant for dinner served by our students as they “take over” for the night (all profits are donated), so no cooking! Woot! Next Tuesday, I’ll be immersed in desserts as the the club I advise hosts it’s annual Dessert Auction. Fudge has been promised! And I’ve already received some great things to auction off, plus I know I’ll be heading out tomorrow afternoon to gather more supplies to be able to have more… because I’m OCD like that. When you depend on teenagers, God love ‘em, not everything goes according to plan.

Next Saturday I’ll also be on stage. Singing. Not that I have a great singing voice, but I do pretty good with Adam Sandler songs… I’m debating a re-rendition of “Red-Hooded Sweatshirt” or the Elmo song. Or the Turkey song with adjusted lyrics… depends on what I find on my shopping spree. Ooooo! I just had a inspiration. I may have to get someone to video this one.

In end, all the stress, disruption and activity is a food a good cause. Because there is always more to people than what you see… and I know that many who are out gathering donations today will be getting them back in their weekly food bank trip.

19 days left

If you are a blog follower or any kind, you know I am not the only person counting down 'til the holidays. In my reader, the posts regarding planning and the holidays are coming up faster than I can read! I really recommend heading over to The Lettered Cottage for some inspiration. Decoration ideas are already bouncing around in my skull as I write.

 

So far, I've mostly been inspired to create new lists! Lists of things I need to do, things I want to do and, of course, the big list of gifts. When I started typing the list out (because I'm all about spreadsheets these days), I found myself in the age old quandary… how much to buy? And what to buy? Educational toys? Clothing? A big family gift?  Budgetary issues aside, the how much is too little? or too much? has always been a question for me. The media would have you believing that a tree buried under presents is the norm, but it doesn't seem like that much fun for my kids. They get tired of unwrapping after about three presents and really just want to play with the new toys or try on the new clothes. (ok, that would be Lala who wants to try on new clothes… the cuddler could care less.)

 

One of my co-workers had an idea that I thought was pretty good. Her brother-in-law does this every Christmas and everyone is happy. Each kid gets five presents along the following lines:

    something to wear

    something to create with

    something to watch

    something to play with

    something to read

 

Good idea, no? Not too many presents, but with the addition of all the usual holiday events, foods and family members to play with, there will still be tons to do! I started purchasing stuff for the kids back in August when school supplies were on sale, so now my list of shopping is pretty small. My budget loves that!