Happy Holidays

Did you see that? Whizzing by? Was that December? Good gooogly-mooogly! Even the mornings seem to scream by! Probably because of the constant deadlines I’m facing. As soon as I one is done, another one rears it’s ugly head. And those are just work deadlines! There are only 5 more days until Christmas! 

And then the new year… which means I’ve got to get deciding on what to sign the kids up for? More than one class at the Y? Is three too young for multiple classes? Or is it just right, given that it’s going to be raining for the next three months and the polish will soon wear off the new toys? I don’t want to over schedule, but I also don’t want to be dealing with a nutty boy because he hasn’t been able to work off his energy by jumping on the couch.

Countdown to a Relaxed Holiday: Day 29 Mess Makers

Do your kids do chores? When did they start? And how did you start them off?

This is an area where I’m lacking in parenting skill. I’ve gotten the point where I’m starting to not buy my children any toys that have parts because I’m so sick of picking them up all the time! And I don’t want to be a parent who just tosses everything into the garbage – which apparently my own parents did… my father recently admitted this to me, when I remarked that my own toys always seem to have parts that disappeared, while my children’s small toys ended up buried in the couch.

For the life of me, I cannot motivate my children to pick up their toys. Make a bed? Sure! Put away silverware! They fight over that little chore. Put a toy back into it’s bin or shelf? Not for a million dollars. Or chocolate candy. I’d post a photo of my daughter’s room, but it’s so embarrassing that I just can’t bring myself to admit that it looks like the disaster that it is. I know that I need to tackle it, but the thought that I will have nearly the same level of mess in less than 4 hours makes me want to cry.

And, I am becoming obsessed with the thought of all the holiday toys coming into the house. How many parts will all those toys have? How do I keep them together? How do I get my children to pick them up without me nagging, screaming, crying? Should I just give up and only allow stuffed animals and naked dolls into the house?

Today, the kids are getting their own routine chore charts. We’ve got to start somewhere!

I found printable charts with current cartoon characters here.

Netflix, kids and movies

I’m sure you’ve heard about the Netflix price jump.. even if you aren’t a subscriber. People are more upset about this than the economic woes of our government or dumbing down of our education system (even more!). Shocking, I know.

It makes me wonder exactly how much TV people are actually watching, examining how much we are… and is it time to cut back? I’ll admit it. TV is some times the only thing that saves my sanity. Then again, it doesn’t. My son’s current obsession with Dora means there is a lot more whining to watch Dora at all times  of the day, thus almost forcing me to buy Dora movies. Or maintain a streaming movie membership.

How much TV do you let your kids watch? None? A couple of hours? Not sure, because there is a TV in every room, including their bedrooms?

When I was a nanny, (seriously, I was just like Jo Frost. So good! And so bad with my own!) the kids I cared for watch a maximum of two hours – and NO video games during the week. As pre-teens, people. I was that good. Now, not so much. Am I the only one?

Riding a bike

What age is best for riding a bike? It seems like kids are getting them younger and younger these days – and they’re made smaller and smaller.

I mentioned before that the cuddler was receiving a bike for his birthday. My mother purchased one for Lala last week and so I gave the kids the bikes yesterday. I figured that they would be able to get more use out them if they had them at the beginning of summer, and we could avoid the whole ‘birthday present jealousy’ thing. Also, I apparently have patience issues.

While both were excited to see the bikes, that wore off pretty soon. Apparently watching others ride a bike is not as easy as riding it yourself. Learning how to ride a bike is not as easy as “riding a bike”, apparently.

Any tips on teaching them? Both have training wheels so balance isn’t an issue… just getting the concept of pushing the pedals forward to move the bike forward. Maybe they’re just too young? I don’t think I got a bike until I was in grade school, which is when most of my friends seemed to get them as well.

Schooling

Last week I registered Lala for Pre-K. It was exciting, while at the same time bittersweet. I'm excited that she is growing up and exploring new things… but she's also moving out of my control. Sure, she attends daycare, but it's a daycare that I choose with a low child/teacher ratio. A facility where they have time to care for her special needs and her educational needs.

I don't believe that my local public school does not have that environment. I know the teachers, working in the same district. They are wonderful, caring teachers. They work hard to give the best education to all of their students. But, dear reader, there are only 24 hours in a day and these teachers are human beings. The kind with bladders and families of their own; they deserve to be able to have access to both.

The fact is that local public school is slowly dying the death of a thousand cuts. Class sizes are so large that there is not enough room for all the desks needed. That alone is enough to give me pause. There will only be one teacher for all those students. No aid, no helper… no one watch others while Susie has a temper tantrum, Johnny wets his pants, Billy eats paste and Betty tries out her Power Ranger super kick on Tommy. By the way, the teacher also gets no break until lunch time. Lunch will be a scarfed down power bar, while trying to set up for the afternoon and tutoring Jimmy, Shawn, Cody and Joe (they don't know the Alphabet). Notice there is no time to use the bathroom… for six hours. The teacher will then spend another four to six hours preparing for the next battle day. There won't be time to cook a dinner for her/his own family or play with her/his own children; just a never ending meat grinder of "get-er-done". Sounds great doesn't it? Remember Lucy and the candy conveyer belt? My child is not a product to be wrapped.

That's why I'm shelling out the big bucks for a private school.  One with small class sizes, teachers who are treated like human beings, lots of helpers and plenty of room to move around. The students actually play – because playing is how littles learn… not by sitting for hours at a desk – because no one can watch 30 kids run around alone. Although I know those teachers in the public Pre-K are wonderful people, I also know that they aren't able to do the job of four people.

Uniforms and standardized testing make great window dressing, but they won't educate my child. Cutting union bargaining laws make great sound bites, but they won't educate my child. Spending billions on the latest fad, the latest test, the latest gizmo will make someone rich, but it won't educate my child.

That's what any parent should care about.

Decluttering

Anyone with children will tell that they come with a LOT of " stuff". Some of it isn't even really their "stuff"! For example, my cookie cutter collection has tripled since Lala's arrival. Toss in very generous grandparents and birth parents who sent boxes of things for every. single. holiday. on. the. calendar. and it just adds up tremendously.

Some things I have no qualms about tossing. Pens without lids. Playdough. Broken toys. Then again... somethings I can't bring myself to toss... MY favorite shirts for the cuddler. All of the children's books in french that my mother would cry about if I tossed away. Some times I think the list of things I can't bring myself to toss is larger that the really usable list.

Really, it's not good to have so much stuff. First, it takes way too much time to keep clean. Second, the kids do not enjoy having cluttered spaces; they can't play and it makes their behavior wacky. Third, it makes me feel like the worst mom ever. Kids deserve to have a nice place to live with a mom who can play with them instead of constantly moving things around or trying to fold 47 pairs of pants - for a toddler!

Do you have a decluttering system? How do you choose what gets tossed and what does not?

For what it's worth, I did toss the stained shirts that were MY favorites for the cuddler. I cut out the designs on the front and tossed the rest. At less the designs take up less room than the whole shirts did.

Mom Tip #33

Keep your car gassed up! I know, it sounds silly… and raise your hand if you heard your Dad’s voice when you read that first sentence. Yah, me too.

In light of last week’s events, keeping at least it at least half-tankfull seems like a good idea.

A few years ago, we had a severe wind storm. A lot of damage and no electricity any where. Many people were living like a pioneer for more than two weeks. Listening to our local radio station it seemed like half the population was lined up at the only working gas station in the area. Some ran out of gas waiting in the line – imagine what would have happened if that person had had to leave because flood or tsunami? Luckily we didn’t have to head for the hills, but the peace of mind in knowing that we could was well worth the extra ten minutes.

We think about getting our children’s favorite snack and making it to swim team practice on time. Some how we’ve got to put those rarely needed, but desperately needed tasks in to the mix too.

Emergency Plans

We all awoke this morning to the news of the devastating earthquake in Japan. While watching the news, I noticed the scrolling text on the bottom of the screen and discovered that schools were delayed today because of a tsunami warning.  It’s something we live with – there are signs like the one on the left are found all around here.

It made me think… do I know remember what the daycare’s emergency evacuation plan is? Where will the kids be taken in case of tsunami? Where would I pick them up? How long will staff members take care of them?

My job requires me to responsible for someone else’s children in case of emergency, but if I am, who will be watching mine?

Have you reviewed the emergency plan at your children’s school/daycare? Do you have a plan? Do you children know what it is? I know that some would say not to expose your child to the worry, but I believe that forewarned is forearmed. It’s a relief for them to know who is going to care for them or what they need to do if something happens. Have you done this?

Pizza Night

Friday night is pizza night around here. We all look forward to it as the signal that the weekend is here.  Because the weekend means, ‘mommy won’t wake me up.’
Lately, Lala has become very grumpy in the morning. The first time I woke her up and she told me “Go go the cuddler!”, I laughed. The 20th time, it wasn’t so funny. When I was late to a meeting at work that I called, it wasn’t so funny.
Although Lala goes goes to bed around 7.30pm, she doesn’t actually fall asleep sometimes until 9.30pm, playing in bed. We have a routine – but it doesn’t make her tired or relax enough to go to sleep. If she wasn’t 3, I’d be thinking about sticking her on the treadmill to wear her out…
What kind of a bedtime routine do you have? Do your kids go to sleep at right away?

I May Have Overdone It

Last year, I restrained myself from purchasing a lot of gifts. Although I knew/had an inkling about the permanency placement of both children, I figured that they would be inundated with copious amounts of toys. Both biological parents would be sending at least several bags full of toys, plus things from the caseworkers and, of course, my family. It was a haul, I can say.

This year, there will be no presents from the state or biological parents (so I thought). I figured it was my time to go a little crazy. Now, I’m not so sure… And I’m pretty sure that toddlers should not be greeted by huge pile of presents that will be waiting for them on Christmas morning. I got the cuddler the follow me Thomas (very fun to play with, but takes practice – I fear for my walls) and I’m thinking that there won’t be any room to run that train!

I’m not even sure that they will unwrap the presents currently under the tree – once they see the presents from Santa they’ll want to play – not continue to did through and unwrap. Maybe we’ll open them up on Christmas Eve and string out the gift giving.

Where is the “overboard” line?

It finally happened.

Last night we attended our church holiday party. Probably not too surprising our seats were surrounded by those of a similar age – other children from the nursery. One little girl made a big point of introducing her entire family to me. Apparently, she loves to this whenever the family is out – Santa got the whole schpiel last weekend. After she introduced her daddy (who I work with and see on a daily basis), Lala leaned over to me and whispered “I don’t have a daddy?”

“Ummm…” She said it somewhat sadly, like she knew she was probably missing something. And while I have no problem with perpetrating Santa, I find it hard to lie to her about this one. I told her that we don’t and she just nodded her head and then asked “Where’s the piano?” At point, I guess she at the point of trying to figure out what is versus trying to figure out the whys of what is.

I know there will be more questions in the years to come… I just need to start thinking about how to answer them.

Babysitters

If you are a single mom, the most important thing you need to make your life livable is a reliable, competent and responsible babysitter. It just doesn't work without one. And you'd think in teaching high school I would have the perfect in...

For the past few years, I've been very spoiled in having a couple of really responsible people I could turn to - seriously spoiled. I see that now... alas. They have all moved on to bigger and better things, ie. university far, far way.  This whole year I've been scrambling to find someone who would fit the bill. Compounding the problem is that I just can't think of any one to even ask... sad to say.

My mother is very helpful, but she also lives about 600 miles away. I tend to save her for weekends and days that are going to be very, very long. Not really an option for the days I need someone for a couple of hours.  Somehow I've got to find an alternate solution and quick.

Just In Time

Seven things to do with a toddler on an odd day off…

1. Go for a walk – test out that umbrella and boots, do a little puddle stomping
2. Build a fort with blankets and pillows
3. make hot chocolate with marshmallows. drink while watching a movie
4. dance!
5. teach how to do a new  chore – toddlers think it’s really fun
6. make peanut butter bird feeders
7. read a book

Just A Tip

You can use baby wipes to remove dry erase marker from your ultra-suede couch cushions.  Really it works.

Also, windex will take out ball point pen.

Just in case you need that knowledge.

Growth Spurt Oncoming

I’m thinking another growth spurt must be oncoming for the cuddler – he’s been eating breakfast for the past hour and a half and I don’t mean, eating slowly. So far, he’s eaten three eggo waffles, a banana, many grapes, a bowl of cereal and 1 and half cuppies of milk. Luckily, we have clothes up to 4T stored.

Board Games

How old does a kid have to be to play a board game? And how long does one have to endure "no, put that back" or "it's not your turn yet" and "come back here with those pieces" before you can actually get down to playing a game?

I would seriously, love me some CandyLand if I could figure out how to explain how to play to Lala, while keeping the cuddler from running off with various pieces.

Also, I need to read books more often.

What brought this on? A school week where I got to see the difference between how my remedial class and my advanced students play with language. It really brought home the impact parents have on the educational/academic abilities of their children. I know it's politically popular to blame teachers for all the nation's ills lately, but an involved parent will just about beat any obstacle society throws at a kid. I want mine to beat the odds.

Pumpkin Spice and Picture Books

I am trying to wean myself from pumpkin spice lattes. It is probably not good to have that much sugar every morning and I’m sure it will do something dastardly to my energy levels. As the days get shorter, my energy level drops inverse with the lengthening of night.

I hate to admit it, but lately, I’ve been falling asleep at 8.15pm. Sadly, getting up early has never been one of my strong suits.

There are morning people and there are night owls… I am a mid-day kind of person. Around 1 pm my energy level picks up and I’m ready tackle that endless to-do list. Then it drops back down around 5pm. By the time I can actually get stuff done without kids, I’m ready to fall back asleep. I need a new plan.

Did you see the NYT article about the waning market for picture books? Supposedly, more parents are pushing their kids to read chapter books earlier and earlier, eschewing picture books as something only for infants. Picture books are just a bunch of pretty pictures. Often the stories explain very complex ideas in a way that kids can understand (Pink and Say ) or include reading/speaking skills are important for advanced language development (Dr. Seuss ). Even when a child is reading, the ideas and themes expressed in a picture book lend themselves to important conversations between child and adult – not mention giving them the chance to really develop those comprehension skills needed for those big chapter books. You’ll find a lot of high school teachers using these books not only to explain ideas, but using them as examples of characterization, plot development, rhetorical argument, importance of setting, voice and tone in building the story. Just because your kid owns Harry Potter, does not mean that most of their information doesn’t come from the movie. Subtle plot development doesn’t work well with five year olds… as any parent of one will tell you when they are trying to get them to stop asking about the “fat lady” in line at the bank.

And I dare you to try to read Pink and Say without blubbering – but it’s so good and so important.

School Choice

I’m becoming less and less enamored with this whole work 80 hours a week lifestyle. If I’m not attending a meeting, I’m preparing for one… while the demands of my actual job keep piling up. I’m seriously starting to think about trying to find an online job this spring. The problem is that no one seems to talking about what actual salaries are being offered and what benefits there really are. Of course, everything ties into various things going on at work and what I need to do for the kids in the future. And if I believe I seriously can be at home with two children every day while working – it’s not as fun as some people make it out to be. At least not at age three/two.

In two years Lala will be heading off to kindergarten. And sending her off to the district school (we don’t actually have “neighborhood” schools around here) just doesn’t sound appealing. Although I know she would be psych’d for the school bus ride, and what little kid isn’t?, it just doesn’t sound like the best educational experience. Class sizes are over 25, despite state laws against this. Teachers aren’t given time to plan during the day and there are no extras like art or PE. It’s reading and math for hours at a time – no structured play, limited recess, science and social studies.

And then there is the whole “good kid” vs. “bad kid” issue. I hate to break the news to my sister, but my niece is doomed to sit next to the class loony for the rest of her academic career. Not just this month. It’s a very common classroom management tactic – one I’ll fully admit to using myself if the “good kid” doesn’t whither too fast. Even better… if the loony sitting next to my niece improves his behavior, she will be moved to sit by a new loony (another one will always pop up) and so on. Our local elementary has more than it’s fair share of loonies. I assume that neither Lala or the Cuddler will be the “bad kid”, so am I dooming them to a poor educational experience? Or at best, one filled with psychotic breaks and swear words instead of Little House on the Prairie and science fairs?

Then again, what are my other options? And can I afford them?

Nothing new on the adoption front. Waiting for the last piece of paper to be signed – hopefully by the end of the month?

Walk Like a Gymnast

Lala had her first gymnastics class this evening. She was pretty cautious at first, especially since I had to take the cuddler to the play area while she was in the class. Momma out of sight with new people is not usually cool. She handled it pretty well. By the end of the class she knew how to “walk like a gymnast”, do a “ta-da” and hang from the uneven bars.

By the time the first 15 minutes had passed she was skipping and jumping around. She’s probably the youngest in the class and this is the first solo class that she’s done, so there was a bit of corraling going on by the teachers. She jumped the queue several times to get to the forward roll station and uneven bars, and attempted to bypass the tunnel crawl every single time. She knows her mind.

She asked to go again tomorrow.

Busy/Growth Spurt

It’s been a little crazy around here – school started, we had family and guest visiting and it was a local holiday! It feels like them minute I get up in the morning, I’m running and by the time the kids are in bed, I just collapse. It’s probably a mixture of getting used to a new schedule, kids who are fully into the toddler-active years and a very busy work schedule.

I’m also having to add more runs to the grocery store to this schedule. The cuddler must be hitting another growth spurt because he is going through milk like crazy and eating all of his dinner, plus multiple snacks. I guess that will mean more clothes shopping too! The other day I spent a shocking amount at Costco to stock up before school started, and the cuddler has already decimated the raisin and craisin supply – I’m beginning to be scared for the teenage years. We may have to move to the country and get a cow.