Retail Therapy

I'm beginning to wonder how many posts titles I can create with the word waiting in it...


Yesterday, I had to run into Target to buy a gift card for a baby shower. I also needed some new turtlenecks (on sale for $7!!) and since it's Christmas clearance I thought I'd stop in the baby section. Two pairs of cargo-type sweatpants - $2 each. Long sleeved shirt (only slightly trendy) - $3. The bowl sets were $1 each. The pants are 9 months, so they may be too small. However, at $2 a pop, it's worth the risk. It's always chilly here, so if they fit, they'll be worn. The shirt is 2T, so it will be used.

The baby shower was an odd experience for me. The mom-to-be recieved many very cool presents (hysterical!) and a wide variety... but I was a bit jealous. (especially this) She's going to have her baby in 5 weeks and I've still got years, potentially. And who even knows if I'll even make it to that point? Sometimes, I'm so anxious about the wait, and others I'm totally fine with it. Logically, it gives me more time to save up money and get ready... finish school, re-do things in the house, etc. It's very weird. I wasn't really prepared for anxiousness before I even make LID.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? The Rhodie Run - 12k fun run
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes and No. I did buy a house and am working to make it a palace, but I'm still not a regular exerciser.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no - next year is the year.
4. Did anyone close to you die? no, thank goodness
5. What countries did you visit? Canada... you may think "boring," but it's a hip place.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Courage!
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Apparently, none. I can't remember a single date that stands out.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I was nominated as teacher of the year - something I'm not sure I'll qualify for this year - but it was big ego boost.
9. What was your biggest failure? being organized at work. I feel so guilty for not being on top of things all the time.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? carpal tunnel came back with a vengence, but 8 weeks of therapy helped tremendously. However, I think knitting is out for me.
11. What was the best thing you bought? my house!
12. Whose behavior merits celebration? a student who seemed to have actually done some maturing before he totally screwed up his life.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and upset? emmm... skip
14. Where did most of your money go? house, adoption and school
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? duh.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Dear Mr. President, by Pink
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? happier - I'm more settled and not looking around for something to ground me.
ii. thinner or fatter? sadly, fatter (if that's even possible)
iii. richer or poorer? surprisingly, richer. Even with all the expenses I've had, I've really been working on not wasting money on shopping or aimless road trips
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? hiking, writing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? watching tv
20. How did you spend Christmas? at my father's house. it was pretty typical, but this year I had no expectations. No "perfect christmas" ideal.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? no.
23. How many one-night stands? no, dammit
24. What was your favorite TV program? Heros
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no. it takes up time I don't really have
26. What was the best book you read? A Million Little Pieces... I know it was exposed as a fraud, but the Barbar scene is still burned into my mind.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I really like 70's music.
28. What did you want and get? a house, power tools and a purpose
30. What was your favorite film of this year? hard to say... I'm not really into movies
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? a friend and I drove to see the seals on the Oregon coast. I fed them and they were sooooo cute! I turned 37
32.What's one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? making the decision to adopt a child and not really caring what everyone else thought!
33. How do you feel about your fashion sense for 2006? If I had any, I might have some feelings about it
34. What kept you sane? friends
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Hugh Jackman. mmmmm...
36. What political issue stirred you the most? the war and Darfur
37. Who did you miss? my best friends
38. Who was the best new person you met? saddest answer yet... no one.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Cause it's a bittersweet symphany" and "something's gotta give me butterflies, something's gotta make me feel alive"

Home Visit

Well, I finished scrubbing and banned the dog for half the day (damn dog hair!) - but everything went swimmingly. There was no checking under beds or in the fridge.... after all that moving of furniture. I'm hoping that the report will be finished by the end of the coming week, so I can file the immigration stuff. I've heard that it's running about 4 weeks for approvals in WA. :(

One of the questions I was asked was how I planned on dealing with the extended wait. I had to laugh... the only thing on my mind is getting everything done before April 1st. After that, I may be able to breathe again.

Reading between the lines

You know how some people over analyze comments that other people make, truly beliving that there exists some hidden message? That would be me today...

Wednesday's meeting with the SW went fairly good. It was a lot shorter than I thought it would be and it ended with us exchanging photos of our dogs. However, she also said "you don't have to do a super cleaning for the home visit, how you live is much better... but everyone cleans like crazy." Ok... so does that mean I should be cleaning like a crazy person, toothbrush at the ready? Or that she's tired of seeing houses that look there's an autoclave hidden somewhere.

And since I just got home wednesday afternoon with guests, who stayed for the rest of the day, I only have today and tomorrow morning. So, today I painted. And rearranged the furniture. Yup, I am completely crazy, but there are good reasons. First, I only have this week to do household fixer-uppers (school next week!) and the furniture is a tad old (the falling off back is less viewable against the wall).

Oh yes, I've had a pot off coffee and three biscotti today. Should I have food in the house? What does an empty fridge say?

Over the River and thru the woods...

While driving over the pass on Thursday, the SW finally called me! Thank goodness I'd driven over early to miss the weather. I can't imagine how I would have avoided all the wrecked cars, snow and talked on the phone (there are always wrecked cars if it snows on the passes - people turn to idiots at the first flake).

When I get back, I have the first meeting on wednesday at a coffee shop. Then Friday is the big home visit. I've already got a mental list of things to do... take down the bamboo shades (cords are a child danger); fire extinguisher already purchased; floor scrubbing and kickplate check (I know she won't check, but dog-hair "tumbleweeds" have a habit of hiding under there and blow at the most inopportune moments), can't forget the bathroom ceiling (bad lighting or mold spots?); what to do about the couch? buy cheap fleece blankets and staple to back!; I wish I could mow the lawn... it grows all winter, but it's never dry enough to mow; Breathe on a regular basis.

Happy Christmas to all!

Walking to China

Although I am crafty, I needed a good stress-reliever. Something to do besides hit "reload" on my mail program. I joined the group "Walk to China", combining exercise, stress-relief and yet another thing to create on the web. Mostly because I really don't have enough to do... ha!


CommunityWalk Map - Walking to China

Since I'm waiting...

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Another post about waiting

I might as well get used to it, I'm going to waiting a long time for pretty much everything.

Right now I'm waiting on pins and needles for the sw to call me to make an appointment for the home visit. Amongst the factors in this wait are the impending holiday, a storm that closed everything last week and others who are also trying to get all their paperwork done at the same time as me. Although, I have to say that I think I take priority.... I mean, no one wants a longer wait, but at least they have the option! I'm on a deadline here!

Was that ranty enough?

And... what is up with the official announcement of rule changes? I know that the rule changes are all out, but there are still some questions I have (because it's really all about me) - like, will the changes only be put into place after May 1 for those who's LID is pre-May 1? Referrals? DTC? What happens if I spend all my money and then find out that it's all be for naught? I do not have the money to do this twice (at least not if I ever want to retire before 75). I'm just going along with a wing and prayer, right now, and hoping for the best.

Monday Morning Quarterback

Did the other shoe drop?

In the day's announcement of new regulations - further explanation, I noticed this...

For single's dossiers, agencies may only submit 8% of the total they submit each month until 5/1/07. Agencies may not submit 8% of their total 2006 dossiers.

My first thought was... what exactly does that mean? Has my agency handed out single spots based on ALL of 2007 numbers? Does this mean that some might loose their spots? Will there be some sort of rush to be among the first ones to get documentation in? Yikes!

Then I found this website - estimate your referral date - based on estimated LID date. It predicts a referral date of Oct. 14, 2009. I'll be 40 years old. My grandmother will have probably passed. Do I really want to wait that long? Do I have any alternatives? Would I even be doing this if I did? A year was fine with me; 18 months, not a problem; but 3 years? Will China even keep going for 3 years?

A person makes a life changing decision. It's planned for, worried about, dreamed about. And then fate comes to smack that person upside the head - not hard, but enough to shake things up and get a little blurry.

Another Checkmark on the List

I mailed in all my HS paperwork this week. It's amazing how many people I called to say "I/the agency have/hasn't received anything... when did you?... oh! it's still on your 'out' pile/buried under the car seat? Could you mail that out today?" conversations I had. One person had to re-do the entire reference because it was lost... Sheesh! At least it's done and I was feeling pretty good about that until yesterday.

The announcement. No more singles after May 1, 2007. It wasn't really that shocking (rumors have been flying for ages). It was more like a head-but to the stomach. I just sat in my classroom dumbfounded. I couldn't talk to anyone, students not being the best choice for this and everyone else working or out sick. Seriously, I couldn't figure out what to do. Does it affect me? Probably not... will I be putting myself into debt to get it done by that deadline? probably. but then I have a good year and half to dig myself out and save up for everything else. I've kinda resolved myself to debt at the moment and am comfortable with it.

But... and that's where I get the tickle of worry. Is there something else coming out? Will fees dramatically increase? Will the agency suddenly find something wrong with my application, because they're being extra careful? Will INS suddenly become backlogged with all the applications and take months to process my application causing me to miss the deadline? Is this a sign from God? Right, I have to stick with Plan A and proceed as if nothing has changed. I'm off to get Santa pictures of my dog and get a tree.

For those who heard a resounding door slam, I'm so sorry. I don't think there is anything else I can say...

Paperwork

I'm almost done with the paperwork for the homestudy - just one last thing to get in the mail. It's amazing to me how many people have claimed to have mailed various things, only to find them buried somewhere weeks later. I dunno if it's a sign or what.

Lately, I've been going through a lot of questioning about this decision. Can I actually do this? Will I have enough money? Can I even afford the adoption costs... let alone the costs of raising a child? I am a huge money worried. When I was a child, money was a big issue - mostly because of mismanagement. Now, I worry about it constantly. How do I save money and buy tires? What about the expensive 40,000 mile check on the car?... what about tuition?

The truth is that I can do it, I just need to relax about it and take everything one step at a time. I won't be really rich, but that's just stuff.

First Homestudy Meeting

Wednesday was my first homestudy meeting; all about paperwork!

Yesterday I mailed out all the paperwork needed by others and plan on spending today gathering the paperwork I can. Luckily, the state capital is not that far way (by western standards), so I can do the walk in thing for a new birth certificate (can't use the old one!!!). Otherwise it's $40!!!!! to ship out a one piece of paper. This is what happens when you live in state where everyone votes that everybody but them should pay taxes... personal responsibility, Bah!

The check's in the mail

I sent in the check to begin my homestudy... I'm really one my way. This was actually a pretty easy step, basically because I have no idea what is next. I'm just sitting around trying to figure out what to do next. Natually, I decided to shop. When all else fails... shopping is a good choice.

Of course, because I'm desperately trying to be frugal with my money, I decided the best thing to do is to create some shopping rules. Since I've got at least a year and half until my daughter is home and the whole money thing... the first rule is that anything I purchase has to be under $3. Shopping is much more interesting when searching out bargains anyways. So far, I've purchased a stuffed frog. It was $1.99 and really soft. It's now sitting in potential nursery with a bunny I made last Easter and my fox. The fox is a puppet I was given on my 9th birthday. I don't have a lot of things from my childhood because of a disasterous Christmas fire, but the fox survived. It's somewhat ragged, but a lot of fun! I also have a white seal (I stole it back from my sister) named "sealy" (weren't we creative?), a snoopy dog and a teddy bear I got in college. If only snoopy's wardrobe had survived...

I also bought a book, of course... I am a teacher, so you know that was a given. I bought it before I made the rule about price limits and I would have broke it anyways. There's no way I could turn down a WSU indoctrination tool! The book is too cute! Photos of all the notable places and a section devoted to football (along with other sports) and a place to put baby's photo with their listed WSU graduation date. The printing company makes them for about 40 universities - the ones with the more, shall we say, committed alumni. The kind that fill half their football stadiums with season ticket holders and sell college sweatshirts to 70 year olds. Yeah, that's us. WSU graduates (Cougs) are able to rattle off their college fight songs at will even 50 years after graduation. One of the best things about my current teaching job is that the school has the same colors as WSU. Minimum change in wardrobes.

In the meantime, I need to start researching what insurance I actually do have - disability, etc. and what life insurance I have and keep saving money. I guess I'm just afraid that some one will come along and figure out that teachers are very lowly paid and that it's not enough.

I've got to stop

...reading the rumor blogs. They're just depressing at times.

In the meantime, I've decided that I can't purchase anything for the baby that is priced over $2. I figure it will keep me from going crazy and give me something to do. I love bargain shopping! Actually, I just love shopping and it's a really hard habit to break. So, the $2 limit is probably a really good thing for me.

I bought a ceramic birdhouse (it's really cute!), a stuffed frog and some plastic plug covers and drawer pull stopper-thingys. They'll all last for the next two years.

Paperwork

Today I got my first large envelop. I'm sure it's the first among many... full of forms to fill out and instructions to move to the next step. Each day brings me closer to motherhood. Kinda scary when sitting and thinking about it. The idea of the responsibility is awesome to think about, so I try not to think to far ahead. It's almost overwhelming when the whole picture is spread out. At the same time, just thinking about so many happy moments to come lifts the spirit to such heights! It's like riding a see-saw. One minute I'm up, the next, I'm down.

So for today, fill out these papers, write these checks and worry about tomorrow when it comes.

I Got A Spot!

I did get the 2007 spot! My application is in the process of being approved by the central office and I'm on my way!

There still isn't any real news on what is going on with China for the coming year, so I guess we just keep trucking on until something different happens. In the meantime, the new school year has started. If ever there was an all consuming distraction, that is it!

End of August

I've been exchanging email with the agency again - I'm wondering how I will wait for a referral if I can't even wait 13 days for someone to turn down a 2007 spot... they've said that most likely I will get it, since they still haven't gotten a response (how that happens, I'll never understand). I'd be dancing and screaming yippee!!! if the boards hadn't been full of rumors about a change in China's adoption policy.

The rumors boil down to : No singles will be allowed to submit paperwork to adopt any child (SN or NSN) after 12/31/2006. What will the actual rule change be? No one knows... who knows if there will even be a rule change? Others are saying that rumors like this appear every year. However, with referral times stretching to 13 months, and the increasing numbers of adoptions by two-parent families, I guess they would feel that some type of restriction would have to be put into place.

What will I do if they do ban single adoptions? At this point I don't know... it already seems like, two steps back for every step forward.

Adding to the stress is telling my father this weekend. He's been in Alaska for the past 3 months and while giving 3000 miles of space while he mulls it over did seem like a good idea... it also sounded like the chicken way out. I know that he won't exactly be on board with the idea, mostly because of financial reasons - it's too expensive (children in general), too much responsibility and I won't have enough time to do it right being a single mother. All things that I continue wrestle with on a daily basis. Plus at this point, there isn't really anything to tell him.

No reply

The agency who's packet I finally received... they still aren't responding to email. I even tried emailing from another address thinking that maybe a free email address might have been shunted to the "spam" pile, but still no response. It's not that big of an agency, how long can it take to answer a simple email question? Is this how they would act during the adoption process? I'm not a demanding type person... but I do think that an simple email should be responded to within 5 days. Am I crazy?

I also got an email from an agency with a spot open for 2006 - but I would have to get all my paperwork in by Nov. 1st. That means a lot of running around and shelling out at a lot of money that I thought I would have time to save for. On the other hand, it also means I could have a child in my arms by early 2008! (or even less time if the wait shortens, heh.) I finally discovered some local homestudy agencies (phonebook, who knew people still used those?), so on Monday, I'll start calling around to get prices. I'm hoping that going local will save me a bit of money.

Great Wall will be having their "application review" in two months for 2007 slots. It's so crazy to be haunting the net like this... searching for an opening and hedging bets everywhere. But every way I've thought about expiditing the process seems to be at least unethical, if not illegal.

Update again

I finally broke down and emailed the agency to find out what was going on with their single's wait list. The reply I got was "wait some more"... They got their two slots and are waiting to hear if the number two person still wants the spot. I know I waffled between really wanting the spot and waiting longer, but right now I really want that spot.

Another agency I contacted finally sent me their information packet. Initially they had told me that the time line was that they would probably be able to get me to DTC by mid-2007. However, that was over a month ago (apprently my email was lost somewhere in the ethernet), so who knows if it is still good. They're definately a cheaper route, but again, the thought of jumping in makes me nervous.

I've been telling people that I'm thinking about adopting - aquaitance type people... so I guess that means, I'm making it more real for myself. Yesterday I almost bought a really cute shelf to put into the baby's room, but stopped myself. With two years to go, it seems like it would end up sitting around reminding me that time is moving slowly. Or that I'm getting older quickly. Or something.

Vacation!

Summer School is over! I'm free! Free, I tell you! MWWWAAAAHAHAAHA!

Ok, I'm a little excited to be done with summer school. I know the money will come in handy when I need to start school, but it is not enough money! Anyways, I don't have to do anything for next 3 and half weeks.

I haven't heard anything from the adoption agency. I guess I'll just have to go with the "no news is good news" line of thinking. What is good news? At this point, I don't know. If they called and said I had an spot, I'd probably freak out - both positively and negatively. If they call and tell me I'll be waiting for another year, I'll be sad, but chalk it up to fate. I realize it's not exactly the best plan, but right now, it's the one I'm going with. I'm still worried about money, but let's be real - I worry about money no matter what happens. That's just part of my personality. Some days it really seems like I'll never attain my goals, but somehow it always works out. I still haven't whether I need to keep the curtains.