My Truth

By now you have probably heard/seen the news story regarding the disrupted adoption of the little boy who was sent back to Russia, alone. We may never know what really went on behind the scenes in this situation, but the fact remains that this was the outcome and it was not good. I cannot imagine any situation that would cause me to choose to abandon my child, but then again, I also cannot imagine living with a child with RAD.

In response to the tragic situation surrounding Artyem Saviliev,  The Joint Council on International Children's Services is asking people to take part in We Are The Truth – an adoption blogger day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know. It doesn't matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international. Let the world know your truth!

For the past week, the cuddler has woken up around 10 pm and just wants to cuddle on the couch for a few minutes while going back to sleep. It's so quiet and peaceful then, with the cutest little guy sitting on the my lap in perfect contentment. Lala, on the other hand, is a morning snuggler. She wants to get up and snuggle with mommy for a few minutes before the cuddler gets up. Again, it's so quiet and peaceful, just listening to her breathing as she listens to my heart beating. Those are the times I live for.

In the summer of 2006, I decided to look into adoption. I was about to turn 36 and, although I wanted to be a mom, I did not want to win the award for "oldest mom" at my child's high school graduation. (my stepmother nearly won youngest at my high school graduation, but there was actually a bio mom who was younger! It was an award I also did not want to win, but by the time my graduation rolled around, not having a kid, I was apparently too old.)

How I ended up in the foster-to-adopt program in the state of WA is a long and convoluted story, but it is where I ended up and where I met my children. Well, met isn't really the word... it was more like, "will you take this kid? Dunno for how long. His/Her name is.... and birth date is...."  That was the sum total of the information I was given before I picked each one up.

When Lala came home, I was a bit stunned. She was smiley and giggly and so what I! But it was hard to believe that there was an actual baby in my house and no one was coming back in a few hours to pick her up. It was a daze. For days I had this foolish grin on my face that said "can you believe this?!?!"  I recognize that look on the faces of other adoptive moms I know... the amazement of what I've been given still stuns me at times. (When she left, it was another daze. Not a happy one.) When the cuddler came home, it wasn't a daze, it was giddiness. Although I had been assured that he would only stay two weeks max, that first night I looked at him and said "I know you are the one staying. I'll never to get use all those dresses in the closet because you're the one, aren't you." Then he pee'd on me. Obviously it was love at first sight.

Then Lala came back into our lives and I seriously considered buying a lottery ticket. Obviously it was my lucky day. Who doesn't want a house filled with baby-dolls and trucks?

I accept that fact that there are things I will never know about either of them. And that the future is uncertain. Will either develop attachment issues? Will they develop more serious medical issues? Will either have a learning disability? FASD? Will they be angry at me for "taking them away from their birth family"? I don't know. I can't tell what lies ahead. I can only tell you that I will be there if it does and I will figure out a way to deal with it. We just will.

At this point, I will be adopting Lala (whenever the paperwork moves those last 15 feet) and the process to adopt the cuddler is starting. If you had told me in 2006 that I would have two children, a boy and girl, approx. 11 months apart I probably would have laughed and really, really hoped you were right. They are the dream I held on to for so long. Every smile, every laugh, every scream, every whine "I want", and "mommy!" is part of the dream. Thank God I get to live it.

so much for posting every day

It's just been busy. Not super busy, just kid busy.

Spring break had nasty weather and I was sick most of the time. Last week just flew by, probably because I was waiting for some nice weather... the kids were finally able to play in the sandbox! Albeit, close to freezing outside.

This weekend Lala had her first swim lesson. She is the largest child in the class and I think pretty advanced. Of course, compared to a 9 month old, anything she does looks "advanced". The cuddler is starting to suspect that something fun is going on while he is in the childcare center during the swim lessons and is not thrilled about missing it.

Lala also put her face in the water without much coaxing - she may be taking after Uncle James after all. Speaking of which, the cuddler must have gotten pointers from Uncle James the last time he visited, as he is now running and hiding when told he needs to go somewhere he doesn't want to... at least he hasn't figured out how to open the front door yet.

Meeting with the cuddler's CW tonight, so will probably have an update on his situation. I'm hearing rumors that something is afoot.

Easter Eve

Yeah… I’m a little excited about the coming of the Easter Bunny. You see, at Christmas, both kids got so many presents from ALL family members, it was pretty much overload on everything. For a month, every one they saw brought some sort of present! It’s not supposed to be about the presents, but when you’re sitting there looking at three “Chuck The Truck”s, it’s a little hard to get excited about anything.

Finding the eggs… now that’s surprising and fun! And there is chocolate inside – real chocolate, not something to use on the chalkboard (Lala is still mixing up chocolate and chalk. She told me this morning that the cuddler was drawing on her chocolate… which was a bit confusing and I did think that perhaps someone had found the eggs before Easter.)

I’m off to hide the eggs.

April Fool's

Ha! The joke is on me... I didn't post yesterday. Once again, I need to learn the lesson of "do not take Nyq*uil during the day". Apparently, I'm stupid when it comes to Ny*quil.  I am coughing less while downing it though.

The last day of spring break. I finished cleaning out the oven, put the Easter Baskets together and filled all the eggs. The kids and I dyed eggs - or rather, I dyed the eggs while they watched. I was pretty sure that the cuddler would try to drink the dye and Lala did get to help. Afterwards they actually split a hard boiled egg. The first one either actually ate without making a face and tossing it on the floor. The key to getting your children to eat healthy is to dye the food unusual colors. I wonder if you can dye broccoli purple?

It's a family filled weekend and General Conference, so we'll be busy, busy, busy. And we're on storm watch. Maybe something interesting to write about when I'm not on N*yquil.

Last Day of the Month

Well, posting every day didn’t happen completely, but this will be my 18th post for the month. That is a new record on Hedgetoad Baby! I’m fairly proud of that, and I’ll be trying again for the month of April. Can I do all 30 days? Or at least 19? I’m guessing it will depend on how exciting my life is during that month.

Also, we will have to call the exercise plan a failure. Hmm… I don’t seem to be doing so well on this 12 new habits for the year. One for three is not a good record. April’s challenge is organization. With spring break, you would think I have plenty of time to begin, but as the master of procrastination I may be in trouble. In fact, at this moment I should be packing up my car for a drive to the big city. I have not taken a shower or found the clothing I want to take to the children’s consignment shop. I’ve been procrastinating on the computer. Sad, but true.

In the meantime, we’re still waiting for Lala’s file to be moved to an adoption worker. Everything is ready, but apparently there’s been a freeze on file movement for at least the first half of this month. I’m guessing that I will soon be getting yet another “plan of action” stating that the state expects that the adoption will be finalized in October. It’s worrisome that things are not finalized, because things can change at the drop of a hat… especially with staff changes. We’ve all heard the horror stories about bad case workers, ill-informed judges, lost paperwork and other snafus with tragic results. I’ve always known it’s a possibility, but the longer we go, the more it preys on my mind. Hopefully, things will start to get moving in April. This is also the month that the cuddler’s hearing begins. Or, rather, is scheduled to begin. The one thing you can count on in our court system is delay.

Quickie Update

• Everyone seems to talking about Lala’s recent opening up. At school she is talking much more and refers to all of the staff members by name. She even says goodbye to them when we leave. This is the same daycare she’s been going to since she was 5 months old (with an 8 month break to another center, same owner) and it’s only within the last four months that she’s ever talked about it or mentioned anyone by name. She’s doing the same thing at the nursery in church and I’ve noticed that she will say “hello” to strangers at the store who smile at her – but only if she’s near me. Is it just a maturity thing or settling in thing?
• Lala has started “reading” her favorite book. It’s about a spider who eats a fly. I’m glad she’s starting to “read”, but really… the topic is a little kooky.
• The cuddler is getting another tooth. At least I’m hoping that’s why his nose is running again! and he’s cranky all the time. I saw part of the new tooth yesterday as he was screaming at me to let him into the kitchen while I was cooking. Sadly, he is NOT kitchen safe and able to reach up and feel around for the burners. Which he’s tried to do on several occasions.
• The s*a*n*d*b*o*x arrived today. Luckily, it’s somewhat rainy, so I can leave it out in the back yard and not worry about it’s discovery. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to pick up some play sand that won’t make me believe I’m giving them cancer.
• It’s spring break and I’m planning on doing spring cleaning. How fun. I may actually catch up on laundry. Possibly match up all the lone socks roaming around the house. And I am definitely checking out a “steam mop”… whatever that is. I’ve heard they are awesome, but are they really ok with dog hair? Anyone?
• Did I mention that it's been storming all night and all day today? What happened to going out like a lamb?

The Cutest Thing

As a teacher, I'm big on raising your hand and doing the instant poll. It's an instructional technique - seriously. Not just a way to ask to go to the toilets (although, it is probably the most common use in my classes, especially on grammar days).

 

Of course, I taught both kids to do the instant poll. "Who wants macaroni and cheese for lunch - raise your hand" Two hands shoot up in the air. "Who wants broccoli in it?" One hand goes up, the other other starts wavering. Raising your hand in the instant poll is super fun, but broccoli is not. Lala often finds herself in such quandaries. The cuddler will still do and eat anything set before him.

 

Yesterday in the car we did the instant poll. "Who loves Keavy?" Every hand shoots up in the air and grins all around. "Who loves the cuddler" Hands still waving - although the cuddler did put his down; did he really understand that he was subject of the question? The kid is so smart! "Who loves Lala?" Lala starts giggling and the cuddler's hand shoots back up in air. "Who loves momma?" Both all hands waving in the air and everyone laughing out loud... I really wish I could have filmed it. It was the cutest thing ever.

Beautiful Day

Well, it seems that I will spending at least part of tomorrow “child-proofing” the back yard and trying to figure out a place to store more outdoor toys.

The cuddler was attempting to move bricks this afternoon. For some reason, he felt that they all needed to be in the same place. He’s very big into organization and putting things in their place. I’m hoping that this means a clean teen-age room… but back to the bricks. I guess he just felt that there wasn’t enough to play with while Mommy was rebuilding the garden fence. He found some bricks in one area and then spied some stacked in another area. I was surprised that he was able to pick them up, but he seemed rather determined to stack them all together. At least he did while I was dragging him away to find something a little more suitable for playing.

The Easter Bunny will be bringing a s*a*n*d*b*o*x to play in a couple of weeks. Shhhh! don’t tell.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Today, I'll be in the midst of WASL madness and general slacker-tude. But I'll be thinking of my all my NYC friends and the wonderful times we had on St. Paddy's Day. It truly was my favorite holiday - it always lived up to it's reputation and expectations. If I was 10 years younger, I'd be on plane, instead of reading instructions and hunting down errant cell phones. I hope you are still wearing green to avoid being pinched and heading out to have a nice Irish lunch or dinner.

Meeting with CW

Nothing really new to report with the cuddler. Everything is progressing at the usual snails pace.

It was mentioned that "no relatives have been found"... which was a little concerning. I thought that all the alternatives had been exhausted already, but I guess not. It would be so hard on him to leave now. I'm the only "momma" he knows.

In the meantime, the cuddler was showing off his pretend play skills - he's so advanced for his age. Obviously, he's a genius. And super cute.

Daylight savings is kicking our butt. Both kids were sleeping hard when I went to wake them (in the dark, THANK YOU MR. BUSH - hope you are enjoying your long golf game). I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

Lala has used the potty every morning for 5 days in a row! It's becoming quite a habit. Now if we can just get it to become a habit at other times of day. Of course, mommy probably could be a more helpful reminder-er.

The weather today was gorgeous! 60 degrees and sunny. Slight breeze, but not the usual climb-up-your-spine chilly.

Three more months until summer...

How do you tell if your child is a prodigy?

yeah... I'm that kind of parent. Is it crazy that I've already talked to a piano teacher about taking lessons?

Every Sunday at church, Lala loves to "direct" the music. She watches the music leader with fascination and tries to copy his hand movements. She's also fascinated with the piano. This morning we had to listen to someone playing after church for about ten minutes before we could leave... under duress.

Sadly, there is no suzuki for the piano; at least not around here and I was told that she needs to be able to identify the alphabet before starting. So we'll have another year or two of listening to other playing before she starts. It'll give me time to save up for a piano and find a place to put it. I may need to expand the house.

I'm a Mom

We did it! This morning, we got loaded up and headed out the Y. The cuddler went into the kidlet's rooms and Lala and I went swimming. It's all part of the big plan to start one the activity treadmill. I felt like such a mom! Sadly, the town I live in is pretty much stuck in 1972, so there are few activites for littles and almost none offtered on the weekends or evenings. If you can't make it Tuesday at 10am, you are S.O.L. I have to make it up as we go along and we're almost always solo because those activities are where you meet other moms... which we can't go to.

Lala begins swim lessons next month (the only thing offered on weekends in her age group). She is not good with change (and who can blame her?), so we're spending Saturday mornings swimming during "family swim"  to get used to the "big bathtub". It took about 15 minutes to get to the point of standing in ankle deep water. Luckily, there is a walk in area and a very shallow area for littles. Twenty minutes we were "swooshin" around the little river-like play canal. We tried to play motorboat, but the concept was a little confusing. Maybe next week.

The cuddler had a fantastic time in the kidlet area and Lala was a bit jealous. Next week I may try to squeeze in a work out and let her play for a bit. It may be pushing the time limit for the cuddler though.

PS - Lala used the big potty to pee! The first time outside of the house! We're on a roll!

Ack!

This morning was an interesting one. Yup, I can now write that brushing your teeth with eyeshadow is not, in fact, toxic, just dusty.

I can also pretty much guarantee that this may become the most g**gl*d post on my site, because this fact is not listed anywhere that easily brought up in your results. I know. I tried. Then I became very worried that the reason I couldn't find it was that everyone else just called 9*1 instead of searching the internet.

Now you know.

crafty? Not so much...

I have so many crafty projects simmering on the back burner right now, I have to remind myself that some things are just better not started. Like having chickens... I can't even find time to put my desk back together! Where will I find time to build a chicken coop?

Plus it's started raining again and probably won't stop until May.

As a parent of two small children (and how good is it to be able to say that with the ring of truth?!?), I just have to accept that there are some things that I just can't do, no matter how much I want to it and other things will are going to take a lot longer. I need at least 6 hours of sleep a night and the dishes and laundry must be kept up with. Food, given to the children at regular intervals is very important. Taming the mountains of crap in my bedroom - not so important. Painting the cuddler's room in a normal color - probably not going to happen until summer, if ever. He's 19 months old, he really doesn't care about his wall color. He cares about easy access to the dog food and his blankie.

Hopefully, my room will be put back together again soon and Lala's skirt will be finished before the end of the month. Those are the two projects for the month. Perhaps I will get to move on to paining the dressers or at least switching them so that the cuddler won't be able to throw all of his clean clothes around his room and (a big and!) I'll be able to shift some things from his closet so his clothes can go in there.

Yah. It's all talk right now. But maybe one day...

PS. Still avoiding the treadmill. Must figure out motivation.

!2 Things in !2 Months Update

I think I need a 12 step program.  This month I have managed to not exercise even once. In 10 days, nada.

That's not even normal for me! Am I just too busy? Or has the spring-like weather turned me into a slug? Is it because that's my goal for this month? Seriously... I need to push through this some how!

Check it off the list

The weather held. I prayed all afternoon that it wouldn't rain and for once it didn't. Sometimes living in a year round green environment gets annoying. One year, it rained for three months straight. EVERY DAY! By the time I could finally mow the lawn, I had to use a weed whacker first because it was too high for the lawn mower to take - and still wet at the base. Anyways, I'm relieved that my house no longer looks like it is inhabited by hill-billies.  Now I'm just waiting to tackle the moss... it's taking over the front yard. Part of me really wants to leave it. You don't ever have to mow moss.

Yesterday I also signed up to take the West-E Social Studies exam so that I can add a social studies endorsement on to my certificate. Sounds simple right? Take the test, pay the money... done deal.

Today I started delving into the study guide. Um... economics? it's been about 20 years since I've done that. Specific court cases? Not so much.. Brown v. Board of Education, sure... but the Boldt decision? I have a boat-load of studying to do (no pun intended.. fishing right - boats... get it?) So far, I've got an APUSH study guide to read and plan to get economics for dummies (highly recommended by those who've taken the test)... but I haven't a clue as to where to study the WA specific stuff that wasn't covered in my Washington state history courses.

And the kicker! I signed up to take the test on April 17th! So, guess what I'm doing for Spring Break? And just yesterday I was wondering what to do.

Fail

I completely forgot to blog this whole weekend! Four days worth of posting gone up in smoke. (for some reason, the one I had scheduled for the fourth did not upload... stupid blogger).

This weekend was a busy one, but satisfying. I completed the program to update my teaching certificate! Just have to mail in one form and I am done for another five years. Sadly, Saturday was the nicest day this year and had to spend most of it indoors doing that.. my back lawn has become a jungle because I just cannot get time when it's nice out to actually mow. The sun is out right now and if it holds for another 3 hours, I might rush how to get it done. With my luck it'll probably start raining in two hours.

Sunday we went to church and I finally got called to do something (we have no paid people to do anything, it's all volunteer... ). Not surprisingly I was asked to help teach the nursery class. Since I've been hanging out there for nearly a year as it is, I guess now it's official. The nursery leader will be happy; she's always scambling for people to help out.

And my mother was here all weekend. And I had a huge mountain of laundry to get done. And re-organized, changed up, etc. my desk area. Photos to come later.

15 Days until spring break. I haven't decided what we're doing yet. It's possible that we may have guests, but if no one comes, I might use the time to do some painting. Or go to Ikea. Or garden... just get stuff around the house done and play with the kids.

12 Habits Update

Last month's habit was to reduce the amount of TV we watch. I would have to say that I had a serious addiction going on - the minute I awoke to well after I asleep, the TV was on. And, let's be honest, there is not a lot of TV these days that would be suitable for very small children. There's a lot of murder and mayhem going on 24 hours a day, but not so many ponies and rainbows.

We started with turning the TV off after Handy Manny on Saturday morning. Momma is slow to wake up on the weekends and this has been a sanity saver. However, once breakfast is on the table, TV is no longer a friend. I don't know if I became more focused or the kids were calmer... but without TV, the day just seemed to smoother. There were less fights, less screaming and whining. Of course, it could also have been the fact that it was the warmest Feb. in the last decade and we could actually go outside and play, but I digress. Strangely, it just seemed to be better. Then we moved on to keeping the TV off on the week days until after dinner. The kids really didn't miss it (because they weren't watching anyways!) and the lack of background noise made for quieter playing. Of course, clingy, sick kids threw a wrench into that at the end of the month, but over all we (I) watched much less and no one died. Or was even maimed.

This month's habit is to exercise. Seriously. I must have been having an optimistic moment when I decided that, thinking about running Bloomsday or doing the Rhody Run. They always sound like good goals in December... not so much in March when I actually have to do something. Nonetheless, I will endeavor. I do actually have a Y membership so the kids can do swimming lessons... perhaps I should actually take advantage of it. Game on.

Daily posting

Yup, I trying to post every day... but there seems to be a flaw in this plan. The flaw would be that by the time I get done putting the kids to bed, cleaning the kitchen and picking up the living room, I'm knackered. I haven't made it past 8.30pm this week - it's just so busy during the day and everyone has been sick (including me), whining beyond belief... After Lala has finally fallen asleep, all I want is some silence and nothingness. Which, you know, makes me fall asleep.

Parenthood is so exciting.

What I really need is to find a way to get a burst of energy at around 8pm so I can get some things actually done. I'm rather drug adverse - it being illegal and all - and I don't drink coffee. Or soda, really. I need some new ideas, because I'm about to be crushed under a mountain of laundry.

Busy! Busy!

Meetings today - with rushing around to get things done for meetings tomorrow and Thursday! How did March get so busy? It's supposed to be my take it easy month!

Lala's file will hopefully be moved to the Adoption Worker by next Friday! Finally some movement... it's amazing how much work it takes to get a file moved 25 feet. The plan, now, is to have everything complete by June.

What I Learned From My Camera

For my birthday last year, I requested a new camera. Although my previous one was much loved, it was not of the latest technology and had issues taking photos of small children... i.e. every photo displayed a side/back of a head as the subject was moving constantly.  I thought that perhaps a new camera would not only take better photos, but also have a quicker shutter speed. It does not have a faster shutter speed. If I want to get a photo of the children smiling, it has to be on the down-low. Turn and click - which much hoping that they are actually in the lens frame. Any movement towards attempting to pose, look in the viewfinder or speak to either children will result in a blurry mess. (Or a grand photo of Lala's neck. Point a camera towards her and say "smile" and she hears, "grin like the Cheshire cat while staring that the ceiling" No idea why.)  The ones that look great? These are the ones in the moment. Nothing planned or posed. No disappointment of unmet expectations. Just a quick snap and moving on.

 

Sometimes my life needs to be like too. I've been so busy lately attempting to keep up with everything, stressing about undone tasks that I haven't been enjoying most days. I'm watching the clock, waiting for bed time, because "I have to do.... and .....!" And procrastinating many things because my mind is running so fast that I just need time to space out. Instead, what I need to do is focus on the immediate - what do I really need to do right now and what is not so important? How can I enjoy my time with the children more? Lala, especially, is in the early explorer stage and she's just so excited about everything new! How can I keep the enjoyment in it for both of us?

 

Strange, the things we learn from inanimate objects can be so filled with life.

I Did It Myself!

 Lala inspired me - all that desire to accomplish daily tasks. Or discovering new things.

The sink in the bathroom has been a slow drainer for awhile now. According to "How to Sew a Button," some baking soda and vinegar would take care of the problem. Initially, it wasn't working. Then I read the rest of the instructions (which are laid out very simply... I've just a short attention span, apparently), which indicated that a pot of boiling water should be poured down the drain after the foam had subsided. Really, that part should have double stars next to it, because without it the process fails.

What new adventure will tomorrow bring? I can't even imagine.

Spring Is In the Air

In reading across blogland, it seems that spring is truly on it's way. Students are getting restless, the countdown to testing has started and some flowers may have been spotted around the corner. My school mailbox contained the annual "tell us what you're planning on doing next year" form... which means that RIF notices will soon be coming too. Since I'm still (!!!) at the bottom of the seniority list, it's my annual time to stress out about it and seek constant reassurance that "it won't be [you]". Although this year, I may feel a twinge of dissapointment about that one. Weird thing just keep happening, weird-scary things, and everyone is walking on eggshells. Or a little bit closer to running around campus screaming at the top of their lungs. Either one is equally probable.

A "friend" told me about a job opening in another district for the coming year. It would be a very different job, but with the possibility of a much lighter workload or a much heavier one. The job could go either way, I suppose, given the size of the district (miniscule). Part of me wants to send in a resume right now and another part of me is more than a bit scared about the changes it would require. I've become quite staid in my old age - I'm not big on change. (Also, packing - not fun). Plus updating my teacher file... when exactly does one get to stop doing that when seeking a job? Because it's been so long that I don't even own a computer that could read the disk the old information was stored on... it's been that long.

Spring Weather

Thanks to El Nino, we've had the mildest winter weather I've experienced since moving to this area. I've scraped my windows twice since Feb. '09 and it snowed only once. The kids didn't even have a chance to go out an play in it, because it was gone in an hour. Everything is blooming. Yesterday I was pulling up dandelion flowers from the garden... in February! I'm so glad I bought boots this year!

This whole week has been sunny and above 50 degrees. The kids are going nuts running around the year and playing with the slide. Lala has finally figured out how to use the trike. Seriously, you can't tell her  how to do anything - she has to figure it on her own or watch you do it. Since I can't "ride" the trike, she's been working on it for awhile. The cuddler has finally reached the point of where I can trust that he won't pick up everything on the ground and attempt to eat it (thank you!) and can walk well enough to maneuver on uneven ground without serious injury (the dog likes to dig).

While they ran around, I worked to prep the garden. Because the weather is pretty mild (read cold and wet, not fun to be outside in), everything keeps growing during the winter. During periods of nice weather, you can see some people out mowing in January. The weeds had started to take over my poor little fallow garden and spread their roots all over. You cannot believe the size of the roots under these dandelions. Fist-sized, with runners that stretch across the yard. And the damn morning glories... the bane of my existance. But maybe if I start weeding now, I'll be able to keep them under control come summer. Maybe.

Someone needs a visit to the eye doctor!

We all went up to a local children's museum on Monday. When I say a good time was had by all... I mean that two kids were busy every second for over three hours. The only time they were off exploring and building something was when we at lunch. It was a nice break in the activity before anyone got overloaded.

While we were having lunch, another mother was feeding her baby nearby. We started chatting about nothing in particular. Then she made a comment about the cuddler's hair color, which isn't a usual color. Then she remarked as to how both kids look so much alike except for their coloring. Luckily, I wasn't drinking anything, because I'm sure I would have choked. We all look so little alike that I have actually worried about having to prove that the kids really belong with me. I guess I don't have to worry so much, eh?

You Can Do Anything!

I forgot to mention - while talking with the cuddler's CW about the termination process, she said she was told to ask me if I wanted to adopt the cuddler's siblings (2 girls). I just stared at her. Seriously, a single mom with four children under the age of 6? It sounds like a Lifetime special. All the CW could say was "I was told to ask..." because they won't be adopted by their current foster care placement*.

I would love to be able to adopt those little girls, but doing it alone is not feasible. So, if you know of someone who'd like to get married in the next year to an overworked mom with a ready-made family and relatives constantly butting in, let me know. I know there are tons of those types of guys running around... like unicorns.

*The girls are currently placed with foster parents who are over the age of 60 - I won't say "well-over" to be kind, but sufice it to say that it's unlikely that if they did adopt the cuddler's sisters they would probably not live to see them graduate from high school.

Counting Chickens

Some times, during the journey, it's hard not to count your chickens before they hatch. You start planning your life - move here, buy this house, find that job, take the trip of a lifetime... and then you remember that you moving would be a huge paperwork pain in the &$%, a new job would just add more stress and how many tickets would you need for the trip?!!? And then you (I) get annoyed at the insecurity of this whole process. I know why it's like this and on an intellectual level somewhat understand it's need to be so, but it's still annoying!



Paperwork has been filed on the cuddler's biological parents. It may be a few months before the first court date and there is expected to be a fight or not... there are extenuating circumstances that could make it blow either way. In the meantime, the cuddler is chattering away and growing like a weed. He's finally figured out what to do with the train tracks and the trucks and cooks up a mean wooden steak with white onion. All the bottles were bagged up last week and we're pondering when to get him a toddler bed. (He's been attempting "crib break-outs" in the morning) He's getting older and more bonded to our family. I worry about what would happen if he was to return 'home'. Would he wonder why 'mommy' isn't there and where she is and where is Lala and Keavy and why isn't he going to the 'home' he's known longer than any other? Would he suffer pretty severe emotional repercussions? I worry more as each month goes by.

Sounds of Silence

I'll admit it. I'm a tv addict. As a true child of 70's I spent my Saturday mornings engrossed in cartoons and all of my evenings watching a strictly scheduled repertoire of sit-coms, variety shows and dramas. Every Saturday night was spent watching Lawrence Welk (wonerful, wonerful), Hee-Haw and the Irish Rovers. Sunday nights was Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdome, Jacque Costeau and Disney. Every day I would wish and hope that that was the day that Ms. Florence would see me in her magic mirror. She never did and I'm still disappointed to this day.

However, just because I'm a tv addict does not mean that my kids should be. Plus, I know it makes sound like an old fogey, but television is not as good as it was back then. Only drunk people sing, animal shows are all about blood and gore and cartoons no longer have story lines. Well, except Handy Manny. So this month's habit is to turn off the TV. Given that it could rain heavily every day this month, it may be impossible, but we're giving it a go.

Dreaming Away

Lately, I've been dreaming of moving to New Zealand. You know, it's all clean and shiny... it doesn't rain almost every day and the kids wear uniforms to school.  No more policing children's clothing at work or arguments about whether the rip is "just above the kneee" or "displaying the thigh". FYI, in the teen age mind, there is apparently a separate and distinct, body part between the knee and the thigh. It's called "justabovetheknee."

Working in a high school gives me lots of foder for thought on Lala's future schooling. For example, although I know the elementary school teachers in my district are wonderful and kind people, I really don't want Lala to attend school here. The kindergartners are foul-mouthed, illmannered, and apathetic. How is a kindergartner not excited about school? Although my community has several things positive about it, there are many that are not. Racism abounds. Schools are free day care/court monitoring and learning isn't a high priority. Neither is discipline, respect for others or hygiene.

So then the question becomes where does she go to school? Private is pretty much out, unless I find a job at a private school that allows children of staff members to attend for free. Homeschooling could only be an option if I found a work at home job that offered insurance (ha!). Which leaves moving as a viable option. And if you're going to move, why not make it a great international experience? Lala could have a cute Kiwi accent and say things like "yissss," instead of "yes" and we could go to a beach with swim suits instead of jogging suits with fleece jackets. I could get used to eating pickled beets (they're on everything in that part of world... ) and Lala could gross out all her Kiwi friends by eating peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches.

Ok, it's January and constantly raining. Pictures of sunny beaches give you funny ideas.

No!

Over this week, I've noticed that the cuddler has really discovered the word no. Although, it's more "noooooo".  It's now his favorite response to almost any question.

"Do you want a cuppie?" "Noooo", while simultaneously walking in to the kitchen and opening up the dishwasher in search for a cuppie.

"Do you want to play on your firetruck?" Noooo."

"Do you want to play with legos?" Noooo."

It doesn't really matter what he wants or doesn't want, he's just in love with his newfound power of communication.

Lala has definitely moved into independence. She wants to do everything herself. Buckle her own seat belt, put on her own socks and clothes, change her own diaper.... good times, good times.

It's a little stunning to realize that the baby days are over. This week I put all the bottles away. I suppose I should throw them away, but it seems so wasteful. Although, who is going to want them? They've pretty much gone through two kids and they're plastic. The cuddler has somewhat attempted to crawl out of his crib, so I'm sure that toddler bed isn't too far behind... and then I'll have two kids, rather than two babies. Wow.

MidMonth Update

So, how have I been doing on my monthly goal? Well, lets just say that my sink is currently full of dishes from last night and I have no clean pants to wear to work tomorrow. Instead of catching up this holiday, I took a three hour nap. FYI - I don't like naps. They do not leave me refreshed or energy filled. And yet, for some reason I did it anyways. I am, truly, a hopeless case. If it wasn't for the kids, I'd give up completely. But they deserve to have an organized home.  In the meantime, I am determined to catch up on work so that I can devote more time to home (ha!) or perhaps come up with some other scheme to throw myself back into the mix and finish out the month with habit firtmly in hand.

Appros of nothing, last night I watched Return to Cranford. I'll admit I was enamored with the original Cranford, shown on Masterpiece Theater last year. (Why is that American television can never do anything as good? Oh, right, Americans. Carry on.) I have to say that I'm a bit jealous of the ladies of Cranford. They have such a wonderful friendship to bind them together. They are all very accepting of each others foilables - like dressing your cow in a union suit when it gets cold. I used to have friends that were that close... and then I moved. It's the one thing that makes me regret it. But it's not just the move, it's having little ones too... I can't just nip out for a cuppa and any evening has to be planned out in advance. Maybe when they're teens, I'll have a life again. I'll be sixty, but sixty is the new forty, right?

One Step Closer

Today Lala's mother relinquished her parental rights and our open communication agreement was filed with the court. The actual court appearance took only five minutes... the waiting for the court appearance took over two hours. Seriously, I walked into a packed building and left an empty one. There was a lot of emotion in that hallway. Anger, sadness and happiness, all clashing into each other and fighting over the four chairs to sit on.

Why did I go? Partly to see that it actually happened - there's been a lot of postponements and delays and partly to be a witness to this monumental event in my daughter's life. Ten, fifteen years from now, when we're having one of those serious conversations that young teens always want to have I can describe how it all went down from a first hand account. I think that's important for her and I think it's important in my relationship with her birth mom. It probably won't ever be the most comfortable of relationships, but I know that in her way she does love Lala and wants the best for her.

With in the next few weeks, the case will get an adoption worker and leave the capable hands of the CW we've worked with for the last two years. (Jeez! I just realized that it has been two years since Lala came into my life) That's a little scary - obviously I want to move one, but fear of the unknown always lurks around.  How long until we hit the absolute end? Perhaps I should start a betting pool.

Tomorrow Is Only A Day Away

Tomorrow may or may not be a step closer to ending this adoption chase for Lala. I’d like to say that it will be… but experience has taught me by this point that nothing is for sure.

Meanwhile, the cuddler is moving closer to become available for adoption. Yesterday I was sure that he had taken a step towards reunification. This morning my secret insider (ok, not really secret… but it sounds more interesting) gave me some news that made me somewhat confused as to what was going on and a meeting with his CW this evening confirmed the move towards adoption.

More tomorrow.

Madame Mim the Mind Reader

One of things I hate about foster to adopt is the amount of "reading the signs" I end up doing. 

Case Worker does this, it must mean that. Biological Parent does that, must mean this.

It is especially mind wracking when these "signs" are in conflict with one another. Mostly because it leads to another round of speculation. I really wish I could just go with the flow, let go, trust in God and all that crap, but apparently I can't. So, instead I sit around wondering what it all means.

Adoption Update

Lala's CW has been working with her BM to reliquish her parent rights. Today I signed the open communication agreement for Lala and hopefully the reliquishment will happen very soon. From that point... there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Faint, but glowing.

While my parenthood journey is just beginning...  an old classmate posted photos of her grandchild on fac*^ook.

GRANDCHILD!

I'm officially old and just delving into the world of playdough. Isn't it exciting?

Amazing Baby

Some of the things the cuddler has learned to do over the holidays...

• open the dishwasher to fetch a bottle, when I attempt to give him a "cuppy". I think it's time to wean.
• climb various pieces of furniture to grab containers of snacks.
• finally discovered the joy of a "blankie". Up to now, he's never cared.
• at lunch will say "sandwich", take a bite then say "mmmm!"
• take off his own clothes
• operate a cell phone. Luckily, he has not figured out how to use a smart phone.
• will bring his boo-boos to me to kiss-and-make-better.

He just gets smarter and more grown up every day.

Does falling asleep count as an excuse?

Last night I did not do my night routine. I went to take a nap after the kids were in bed - I really was tired! - and then ended up sleeping until 1 am. At that point, it's moot to get up and do the dishes before going to bed.

I did them this morning and did my morning routine. Now on to laundry and completing the assignments I was supposed to write after doing those dishes last night.

Happy New Year!

12 Months of Habit Building

It’s this time of year that everyone, whether they want to or not, reflects on the year passed. Some make resolutions to start anew, others decided to remain as they are. I’ve always been a part of the ‘start anew’ group. In fact, I have multiple calendar dates to start again – NYE, the 1st day of school, the last day of school… and so on.
This year, the latest crazy hitting the blogosphere is “101 in 1001 days”. Or maybe it’s not new, but rather hitting the blogs on my google reader. Either, it’s interesting reading. I created a list of my own and was even going to post it, until I realized that it is the same list I’ve had for the past five years. Posting it online probably won’t bring them to fruition any more than they have in the past five years. Honestly, my yearly goal for school is ALWAYS to keep up with grading and yet, EVERY year I somehow end up with stacks and stacks of papers. I’ve been ‘dieting’ since I was 12… and I still get the talk every time I see the doctor. Also, never run a marathon. And so on.
Instead what I need is a life style change. As a strict creature of habit, I need a change in habits. I am such a creature of habit, that some times I find myself in a middle of a task not realizing that when I began doing it, what I was doing before and… even more scary… if I did anything between those tasks. For the next 12 months, I’ll tackle a new habit each month to see if I can make a real change in my life style. If I hate it, it’s only 28 to 31 days. If it’s something I can really do, the month should make it into an ingrained habit for me. And it’s only one thing. Or rather, one personal habit and one professional habit. Everything else I can let slide… or at least not get in a sweat about.
For January, my habit is the basic evening and morning routines from FlyLady.net (see professional goal here). Starting January 1st to January 31st I’ll attempt to faithfully do both. Obviously, I would love to have a loverly, organized and clean house. Sadly, with two toddlers and a dog, I just don’t seem to be able to do that… but I’m hoping that I can keep the chaos at bay. And possibly not do the “please let there be a clean pair of underwear in the drawer” game every morning.

Evening Routine

• Pick up living room and put away things, magazines, dishes, clothes and shoes
• Kitchen – shine sink, lay out clean dish cloths and start dishwasher
• Clear hot spots in entrance and dining room
• check calendar for tomorrow’s appointments
• pack breakfasts and lunch
• put items I don’t want to forget into bag
• lay out clothes for tomorrow
• brush teeth, wash face and take vitamin
• go to bed at a decent time

Morning Routine

• make bed
• shower and clean shower while in there
• fix hair
• swish and swipe
• reboot laundry
• check calendar
• check dinner plan – thaw if needed

My hope is that by making this one small change, I’ll be able to have a little more organization in my life and perhaps make it run a little smoother.

Year In Review

It's done.

This is how you know that Christmas is over.

I spent the day putting the tree away and cleaning up for all the hoopla. Still have not fully unpacked the car, but have to stop to get milk before picking up the kidlets. Why is it that a day spent doing chores goes by so quickly? Isn't it "fun" that is supposed to make time fly? 'cause cleaning toilets is not my idea of fun...

Speaking of fun...Is it just me or did the entire country experience a stomach virus in the week just prior to Christmas? I've seen blog posts, facebook updates, etc. all describing the worshipping of the porcelain goddess from just about everywhere. How weird is that?

Merry Christmas!

Celebrating

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
egg nog… with ice
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? 
one unwrapped under the tree with stockings
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
both. In the past I’ve been one of ‘those’ houses. This year, I just didn’t have time and had to let the idea go. There’s always next year.
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
no point. and really, why leave a constant reminder as to why there is no point?
5. When do you put your decorations up?
November 1st? Ok, black friday. I really try to hold off until then.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
roasted goose. so traditional and so yummy.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
shopping with my mother and grandmother. we always had lunch at the department store restaurant (back when they had those) and it was very, very fancy.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I’m not really sure. I do remember going to sleep in my brother’s room as we were very excited about Santa coming… but I can’t remember for sure if that was the same year I had to put the presents out myself before they got up.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
We open all of the gifts on Christmas Eve. It’s a family tradition. Christmas day is for visiting and playing.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
This year with lights and paper ornaments. I have boxes of ornaments that all have some special meaning – I don’t do theme trees or matchy-matchy ones. I find them a bit boring.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Love it! very disappointed that there currently is none.
12. Can you ice skate?
Yes. Not as well as I’d like to, but I can skate forwards and backwards. Stopping is sometimes an issue.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Barbie’s airplane. It had a passenger compartment and kitchenette. No cockpit. It was the early 70’s and Barbie was a stewardess.
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?
family. even though they are crazy and make me crazy, it still wouldn’t be Christmas without them.
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
cookies – all kinds
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
christmas lights
17. What tops your tree?
a lighted star, 1950’s retro
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
if they visited my wish list, receiving. Otherwise giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
This year it’s ‘Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella’ The old carols are always in the top 10 of favorites
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?
yum!
21 Favorite Christmas Show?
any version of A Christmas Carol. I love the ending where Scrooge is running around making everyone happy and having the most fun doing it. Also, Fezziwig’s party sounds like da’ bomb, yo.

Too True

Illness Continues...

Or, Wherein I praise God for the writers of Finding Nemo.
Of course, the cuddler gave me his stomach virus, just in time for the annual preparations for the trip to the ol' homestead. I spent much of the weekend sanitizing myself so that Lala wouldn't be the next victim just in time for Santa's visit. Or rather, our visit to my parents house.
We're leaving tomorrow morning. That should have meant me packing, doing laundry and cleaning in preparation for the long trip. Instead I napped most of the day. As usual, I'll be rushing around in a panic tomorrow morning, leaving the house in a state of disaster and probably forgetting something important - not be realized until at least 100 miles away - like my wallet.
So far, the presents have been wrapped or packed. Snacks have been purchased. The kids have clothes to pack, although I do not. And they still need socks. We never have enough socks. No cuppies or food additives have been packed and the car hasn't been cleaned out for the trip. I also need to install the DVD player, get dog food and some how give the dog sitter the keys. And someone gave the cuddler a frosted sugar cookie, so he'll need a bath. All done before 10 am tomorrow.

101 Things in 1001 Days

1. get up early to exercise 31 days in a row
2. create a menu plan for a month and stick to it
3. do dishes every night before going to bed for 31 days in a row
4. visit NYC
5. organize front closet
6. organize desk
7. fix desktop computer
8. go on a camping trip
9. enter a 5k race
10. get rid of the baby clothes
11. throw an adoption completion party
12. paint kitchen cabinets
13. get a gas stove
14. post to blogs 3x's a week for six months
15. organize purse
16. purge kids toys
17. take more videos
18. go sledding
19. teach Lala to tie her shoes
20. potty training
21. hair cut
22. add more photos to blog posts
23. hang curtains in the cuddler's room
24. get doors for shelves in kitchen
25. go the hands on the museum 2x's a semester
26. sign Lala up for swim lessons
27. sign Lala up for dance lessons
28. get an electronic keyboard
29. take dog to dog training classes
30. do Visiting Teaching each month
31. get a nightly routine and stick to it
32. reduce the number of hours the TV is on
33. run a marathon
34. make a five year plan
35. create a family tree picture
36. learn to golf
37. learn to set tile
38. throw away bath stuff I won't use even if it is a waste done 19.12.09
39. renew my teaching certificate
40. read sense and sensibility
41. attend a renaissance festival
42. Take Lala to the Metropolitan Museum of Art
43. go on a date
44. re-read the Book of Mormon
45. no fast food for a month
46. stop drinking coffee
47. pay tithing in full
48. start every day with family prayer
49. do Family Home Evening
50. organize baby calendars and save
51. keep up with grading
52. go on a family picnic
53. organize files for medical reimbursement
54. install screen door for back porch
55. plant entire garden
56. keep up with weeding
57. create a budget
58. post one book review per month
59. create an emergency fund of $5000
60. write a short story
61. perform 20 Random of Acts of Kindness
62. loose 30 pounds
63. create a front porch “room”
64. email grandma ones a week for a year
65. take kids to fly kites
66. host a dinner party/game night
67. make a major chore schedule and stick to for 3 months
68. Re-do kitchen
69. Re-do Bathroom
70. go horseback riding
71. do a book pass
72. learn to make Challah
73. do a full Spring Cleaning
74. save $5000 for a new car
75. Learn SQL
76. Create a curriculum map for AP Classes
77. Sew a new dress
78. do a craft project with kids 2xs a month
79. Update first aid card
80. complete foster care training
81. learn to cook healthier dishes
82. pay off student loans
83. get a safety deposit box
84. get Lala a passport
85. Go to Shakespeare Festival
86. Keep up with laundry
87. use reusable bags for shopping 10xs
88. drink 8 glasses of H2O for 31 days
89. Teach Lala to snow ski
90. Visit yosemite park
91. start project 395
92. organize pantry
93. complete unfinished craft projects
94. submit an article for publication
95. save $5000 for moving expenses
96. Repaint the cuddler’s bedroom
97. Get a design plan for the living room
98. create a flower garden in front yard
99. write blog post every week
100. go on 10 hikes
101. take Lala camping

Vomitous

I'm one of those lucky moms... illnesses never show up around here until after 5 pm on Friday.

Yesterday it started with diarrhea yesterday, although not bad. Then, after a lunch of toast and applesauce, the cuddler awoke from his nap covered in vomit. Oh, yes... let the fun begin. I went to bed praying that this would just be a 24 hour bug. The cuddler was vomit free this morning until he has milk. And it started all over again. He's gone through about 5 shirts, 2 pairs of pjs and three sheets. Plus half of a jumbo sized lysol wipe container and I think I might just be on a Lysol high. Oh, and at least one melt down because Lala got to eat snack and he didn't.

Watching the first snowfall

I hate cleaning up vomit. It's so.... gelatinous. And smelly. Other than the vomit, he's acting like his normal self. Into everything, demanding that someone play with him, opening the gate, climbing the furniture.

Holiday Fun

When you are two, a gingerbread house may be a bit intimidating. Ok, when you are 40, a gingerbread house IS intimidating. All that precarious stacking and royal icing. Pastry bags! They never work like they do on TV!

A stackable tree shape on the other hand is eminently doable. Just plop down the cookie and some icing. No pastry bag required.

If you buy the kit, no cooking required. You do get tons of childhood memories and when you are two or 40, that is what’s really important.

What memories are you making this year?

Kids Play Kitchen Hack

Saturday I bit the bullet and headed up to Ikea. It’s about an hour and half drive – more if you miss your exit… twice.

I did however get some good stuff. I picked up some kids kitchen ware, new plates and bowls for the kids, silverware for the house, new curtains and a rug for the cuddler’s room, some stocking stuffers for the cuddler, some toddler safe tree decoration (at 25% off… they were so cheap that I saved a whopping $1.25!) and two new sheet sets for me. I also looked at the play kitchens. They did not have the cheaper one from the catalog and the one they did have was very short. The perfect size for the cuddler who is a normal 18 month old height. Lala, however, is about the size of your average 3 year old. She would have towered over it.

Just behind the play area I found this! The Trofast system of storage. It was the right height for Lala and with a sink placed on the and some burners, it would be a great kitchen. Plus all the food and dishes could be stored in the bins underneath.

When she grows out of it, we can return it to it’s natural storage system state for clothes or shoes or something. Kids always need more storage. It’s a twoferone buy.

This is recently played with end result. The sink was purchased online from somewhere I don’t remember. In fact, I purchased it last year… it’s one of the gifts that I was never able to give Lala and has been sitting in the closet forgotten. The burners are wooden plaques I got at JoAnns. I used a sharpie to color on the rings. Right now, they’re duct taped to the top of the cabinet. I told Lala, that they had to stay on the top. We’ll see how long it takes for the cuddler to rip them off. The cabinet was about $50, bins included. (Ikea sale item). The sink was $5, plus shipping and the ‘burners’ were $1.79 ea.

So far, it’s been a bit hit. I decided to give it to her, since A. I probably wouldn’t have time later this month to put the cabinet together and B. I’m sure as heck not driving it across the state and back while we are on our holiday pilgrimage.

We just have to find a place to put it. There will have to be some furniture shift tonight to find a new home.

Contests

Have you entered one those blog give aways? Have you ever won?

I, seriously, almost never win any raffles. In fact, my luck is so bad that I taint those around me. I did have someone tell me a trick to winning ticket raffles, but it only ever worked the days she told me… so perhaps her luck countermanded mine.

I do enter them. All the time. I’m usually commenter number 8,976 by the time I can get around to it, but I still do. It’s supposed to random right?

Today, I entered a contest win a Dyson D25. To enter, you comment why you would need this super expensive piece of household equipment. I wrote, “have two babies and a dog.” I think that pretty much explains how often I vacuum, sweep, mop and swiffer. Oh, yeah. That dog hair is insidious. I honestly believe my dog sheds an entire dog a day. I need super sucking vacuum!

I annoy myself!

Several months ago, there was a blog post by someone(?!?!?) about someone who did interior design consults using photos of your existing furniture and decor... it was way cooler than I'm describing it. The problem is that I don't remember who it was and cannot figure out where it was or even how to search for it.

I want to find it again but can't! Annoying!

Adoption Update

Lala is at a standstill. Her court date was postponed and has not been rescheduled. Will it happen before Christmas? Who knows... as the title says, "slow plodding". Some days it feels like this process will never be over. Other days I forget that there is even a process and just go on with life. The biggest lesson I've learned from this whole process is that life goes on; if you try to put it on hold waiting for something that you have no control over to happen, well... it's not a pretty picture. So we're just continuing on as if everything is done and hope that it will go that way at some point.

This weekend I'm heading to Ikea for Christmas gifts and hopefully a Lucia crown. If I can find a star boy hat I'd be really happy, but that's probably stretching it a bit. And I could probably make one pretty easy. I'm really luckyI'm still struggling as to what to purchase the cuddler for his stocking. Most of my ideas are objects that are too small for a kid who still puts everything in his mouth. Or will be eaten, like crayons. I just hope he doesn't graduate to paste eating.

Christmas Traditions

Kelly’s Korner “show us your life” request this past week was to show off your holiday traditions. Since this is my first holiday with kids that are ‘mine’, I read through dozens of the blog posts looking for ideas. And then I decided to most stick with what is familiar. A traditionalist at heart.

~ I usually put the tree up during Thanksgiving weekend. Since I have such busy little hands wanting to help this year, my brother held them off while I re-fluffed the branches. The lights are on it, but no ornaments. I’m not sure the cuddler could be held back… I might just stick with the wooden/reed ornaments.

~ This weekend I’ll tackle the outdoor display. I love outdoor displays. The more ostentatious, the better. Every year I buy something new to build the display. Last year, I bought timers and extension cords. Exciting, no? This year, a mechanical deer. I am exited about how the kids will react to seeing that.

~ The cookie making will have to start soon. I can’t wait to introduce Lala and the cuddler to exploding cookies, buckeyes and papa’s cookies. I’ve always made tons of cookies to give away (and eat!). Lala had such fun making the halloween cookies, I know she’ll love this tradition.

~ Dec. 13th is Saint Lucia Day. We will be getting up early, eating some buns and reading stories. At this point, Lala is a bit young for the lighted crown and I’m pretty sure that her CW would not approve.

~ We open presents on Christmas Eve. Plus the huge family party… it’s a smorgasbord of food, paper and people. Santa’s presents are left for Christmas morning, but that’s mostly stocking presents. Christmas day is more like a quiet family day, where we play and eat leftovers. We also track Santa’s progress via NORAD during the day. It’s possible that sleigh bells will be heard at night.

~ Stockings hold small presents like games, books, candy and an orange in the toe. No electronics.

~ The kids will be getting new Christmas jammies. I think it’s a cute tradition to start and everyone can use an extra pair of jammies!

~ A co-worker will be writing a letter to Lala from Santa. As her children have outgrown this particular tradition in her family, she sought out new recipients.

All in all, it’s going to be a fairly relaxing holiday season. The shopping is pretty much done, there’s plenty of time to bake, decorate and travel. My sister was even able to pick up a DVD player for the car ride on Black Friday.

It’s exciting, but everything is so new for the kids that anything I do is fantastic. That’s what makes the holiday the best time… seeing it through the eyes of a child.

Play Kitchen

Lala is really into pretend play these days. I want to encourage this, as it gives me some free time to pee solo while the TV isn’t on, so I’ve been perusing play kitchens online. She plays with one at church and seems quite happy with it.

Have you priced play kitchens lately? Almost all start over one hundred dollars! That’s without utensils. Now, I love Lala… but $100 for a first holiday present? I thought she’d be at least nine before this happened. Heck, she hasn’t even discovered American Girl yet.

There is one that is quite reasonable in price, but apparently the reason for the low price is that you have to finish the manufacturing process. Not just assembly, but also cutting the pieces out of the plastic. According the hundreds of reviews online, it takes at least four hours to assemble, a wire cutter, razor knife and several different sandpaper grits. I’d like to think that I’m handy… but four hours of assembly on Christmas Eve? My plans were more like cookies, hot cocoa and a movie that included my Christmas wish… a really hot guy.

I’m thinking that I might go to Home Depot and purchase a short cabinet upon which I’ll paint kitchen like things. You know, burners and a fake window. Does that sound cheap?

What Time Do I Put The Turkey In?

For some reason, I’m really excited about cooking Thanksgiving dinner. All the work and planning, and I can’t wait. I’m guessing it’s because I get to chose what to make… you know, the great stuffing debate and all that. My stepmother loves to cook – and don’t get me wrong, she is a great cook – but holidays are not times for experimentation. I’m a traditionalist. To me, holidays are about connecting to your family and your history.

That means we have oyster stuffing, sit on the ‘davenport’ and talk or play games. We don’t watch TV because it’s rude (although given that it’s just us, we may watch the parade). There will be a jell-o salad. If we were at ‘ol homestead, we’d probably be sledding at some point and hoping that there is “store-bought” milk somewhere. And darn it, I think it’s important for kids to have that consistency, so my kids are eating the same Thanksgiving dinner I ate, that my mother ate, my grandmother ate and my great grandmother ate.

I think the other reason I’m so excited is just because I didn’t make it this far with Lala last year. It was the beginning of a very sad and disappointed time. I was planning on going to the Black Friday sales, but ended up buying toys for Lala that are still sitting in the closet – and the thought that they will be given this year is thrilling. Not only those presents, but stockings and cookies… oh yeah. I’m a little excited.

Quick Update

• Lala’s dog bite is healing. Explained the situation to her CW and so far, the dog is not going to be in “doggie jail”. I already have a “safety plan” in place, but it’s not one that the dog loves, so I am looking for a new home for her. Had lots of conversations with people about it and if a better home can be found, it would probably be the best. Or, it may be a really long winter.
• Most of my holiday shopping is done. Unfortunately, the cuddler seems to have gotten the raw end of the deal… his poor little stocking is nearly empty. However, I’m not going to buy anything more until the gifts from the state arrive as I have no idea what will show up. Also have no idea when anything will show up.
• I decided to return one of Lala’s gifts I ordered. First, it’s on sale somewhere else for about half the price and second, I’m not so sure I want it any more. I’m wondering if I should create a pretend kitchen with a wooden crate and shelving. That way, it could be recycled into something useful and it supposed to ‘pretend’. How realistic does ‘pretend’ need to be?
• Cards were ordered and are on their way here. Hopefully, they will arrive by Thanksgiving so that I can get them done on Friday and sent out.
• Turkey is currently thawing in fridge in preparation for Thanksgiving. If you’re wondering about the process, it’s here.
• The cuddler will be here over the holidays. No reunification plan has been set.

How to End a Really Sucky Day?

After all my angst about who would actually show up for conferences, I only made it to one session before I collapsed into a fever crazed sick person. There was supposed to be a sign up sheet to leave phone numbers, but either few could be bothered or, as one parent claimed, the paper was hidden somewhere that only special parents could find. I do have about 15 to call next week.

In the meantime, I’m still trying to recover from said illness. And get caught up on grading. Usually, I get tons done during conferences since I’m forced to sit in the cafeteria for hours with little entertainment. I had it planned… and, it didn’t work out. Instead, it was a marathon session today.

So what made the day suck? It should have been great. Only one class, tons of time to get stuff done, get qualified for my energy rebate without having to take time off, maybe even grocery shop… well, I did get one class all caught up with grading and will be getting my rebate check.

But! am apparently broke, discovered that out of 45 students, only 15 did the project assignment that was due today… and only two were from the class I actually saw, forcing me to give the annual “if you sit around watching life go by, all your going to get is a view of other people getting a life” speech. (as a side note, I think it’s getting better… there were no rolling eyes this year. Then again, this isn’t a class with much of a backbone).

After school, I was really too wiped out (speechifying is tiring!) to shop, so I didn’t get that done. Or pay the garbage bill or deposit a check, hence the bounced check fee… and the dog bit the two year old. So, I’ll spending the weekend finding her a new home (the dog, not the two year old)… which sucks, but I’ve tried everything and the dog is just not accepting them and yet, freaks if not with me.

I should have bought some calgon.

Wet

After three very wet storms, I’m really wishing I had bought a mini-van this summer. It’s only November, so I’m guessing this winter is going to be very, very wet.

We may have start wearing floaties to bed.

Photo Done

The holiday photos were taken today… I’m really hoping that one turned out good. I was sent the one that “looks the best” and half of my face is squished into the cuddler. Lala is actually looking at the camera, though. I’m looking forward to seeing the other photos… maybe another one came out.

Thirty years from now, my children will ask why there are so few photos of them as young children and I will have to explain that they refused to sit or stand still for any photo to turn out attractive.

Relaxing Weekend Upcoming

Photos

As the holidays get closer, I’m thinking more and more about the holiday photo card. Yes, I’m one those people… and not only do I send out photos of myself, kids and dog, but I also send them out Thanksgiving weekend. Cheesy and early. Actually, it’s really the only time I have to write out the cards, address them and get stamps to mail them out. Waiting until December means they probably won’t be sent out.

To accomplish this Thanksgiving weekend task, however, means that the photos have to taken, proofed and sent out the the printer soon. At this juncture in time, I have no idea what is going on with the cuddler’s case. Really, I haven’t a clue. I won’t know until late next week, maybe. I can’t wait that long to hold off to have the photos taken.

So the question becomes, do I include the cuddler on the hopes that he will be here for the holidays? Not include him, because he might be gone by then and if he does become a keeper, he won’t know that he was left out for at least another ten years.

I’ve really tried to philosophical and ‘understanding’ about the lack of information regarding his case, but he’s on his 4th CW in 9 months. I live in a poor rural area. It’s not like there is a lot of people moving in and out… even with this economy. Exactly where are these former CW going? And who is replacing them? Or if no one is being replaced… well, I guess that would explain the total lack of information.

Another Meeting

I finally received a letter informing of an upcoming meeting for the cuddler. Hopefully I’ll get more information on his future – I think these past few months of no information has really set me up for an emotional fall. My mind has been moving into “permanent” mode, even though nothing I’ve ever seen or heard has pointed to that direction. The meeting is next week.

In the meantime, it’s been very busy around here. This week is a huge fundraising event (actually 10 days of events!) at work. It’s for a good cause and raises much needed funds… but it’s a lot of work. Last night was a “talent” show in which I performed twice. Sadly, no one recorded it on camera. I had a lot of people tell me that my rendition of Red-Hooded Sweatshirt was quite funny. Tomorrow night is the dessert auction. That’s the event I’m in charge of and I think that I might actually be experienced enough not to freak out this year. At least I haven’t freaked out yet. Tomorrow night I will probably be sweating it out waiting for the donations to show up.

I tried to help out in the dessert donation part by making cookies tonight. I should have known… I cannot make no bake cookies. The whole cooking the sugar for just the right amount of time does not work for me. Even when I have directions, it doesn’t work. I’d post a photo of them, but it’s just too embarrassing. I’ll have to hit the grocery store tomorrow before the auction. Sad.

Long Weekend

It was a busy weekend, as usual… but this coming week will be even busier. Two of our local high schools have a major fundraising competition for the area food banks. It’s a huge deal. Mind blowingly huge. The kind of huge that really should be on the Oprah show. In honor of this fundraiser, I’ll be singing tomorrow night not once, but twice. For the record, I can’t sing. I do, however, love to sing and signing in front of an audience where people will applaud no matter how bad – oh yeah, nothing better.

I’ll be part of team singing Mahnahnahnah and doing red hooded sweatshirt solo.
I am really excited about it. Really. If only I wasn’t so tired… and had so much still on my to do list. Plus, this Wednesday I’m the advisor for another event and even though Wednesday is officially a holiday… I’ll be at work bright eye’d and bushy-tailed at 8 am. Maybe I’m just to tired from today.

Current To-Do List

• Find someone to remove moss from roof
  
• pay bills
  
• figure out if this is water bill month or garbage bill month and pay
  
• pick up mail from post office
  
• weigh in for biggest looser at work; try not to cry
  
• finish cleaning the living room
  
• vacuum
  
• sweep
  
• train the dog not to growl at the kids or stay in another room without going crazy
  
• clean kitchen
  
• finish the laundry, wash new clothes
  
• sleep
  
• hang shelves
  
• make cookies for Wed. benefit
  
• find pink hair spray
  
• wash red hooded sweatshirt?
  
• get milk

maybe I need to prioritize a bit, but still it’s all gotta get done.

11 Days

Is it just me, or do things just seem to going by faster and faster? And I'm getting more and more tired... I think it has to do with the lack of sunlight. We're leaving at dark-thirty every morning and I only see the sun through my classroom windows. Of course, it doesn't help living the rainiest region in the US. I have to say that I am still disgruntled about the moving back of daylight savings time switch over to November. Seriously, only rich Texans with more golf clubs that brain cells needed more "daylight savings".

Halloween happened. I wish I could say that it was the stuff Disney channel movies are made of, but this is real life. Lala wore her costume for approximately five minutes. Once she saw the Cuddler's cheetah outfit, she immediately wanted to be a monkey with a tail. Sadly, we did not have any monkey costumes lying about. The princess dress was doomed from then on. The Cuddler's costume did not make it through daycare. It came home ripped, without a working zipper and covered in chocolate. To be honest, he's grown a bit in the last month and is now fully into 18 month clothes. Anyways, costumes were not really happening. Add that to Lala's incredible shyness with strangers... and Halloween does not translate into one of the top holidays. They did enjoy getting pumpkins, playing in the hay at the pumpkin patch and patiently watched while I carved the pumpkins. Lighting up the pumpkins was pretty cool too! And we all enjoyed the "cookie walk" at the Trunk or Treat at church. Plus they had thousands of Halloween stickers and crayons to make your own treat bags - an activity that Lala happily worked on for nearly 20 minutes, while I chased the cuddler all over the gym. - and the fishing booth resulted in the attainment of two (not one, but two!) bead necklaces.

Ok, on a scale of one to ten - ten being "meanest mom ever!", how bad is it that I gave all the candy the kids got from trick-or-treating the CW's office to the trick-or-treaters who came to our door? They each got a couple of pieces, but they forgot all about the candy by the time we got home (no eating in the car)... so I just never reminded them. 3? 6? 10?